'A gut-wrenching loss'

East Rockaway community remembers advocate Sue Daitz

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The East Rockaway community is mourning the loss of longtime resident Sue Daitz, who was described as a relentless advocate who never wanted to be the focus of attention, despite her efforts to help those in need. She died on Feb. 10 at age 65 after battling a brief illness.

“It’s a gut-wrenching loss,” said family friend and East Rockaway resident Dan Caracciolo.

Daitz was born in Astoria, Queens, and then lived in Queens Village and Roslyn Heights. She and her ex-husband, Leon, eventually moved to East Rockaway, where she became a pillar of the community. The Daitzes had two daughters, Elizabeth and Lauren, and Sue moved to Rockville Centre in 2005 after their divorce. She remained there for the rest of her life, but stayed active in the East Rockaway community.

After working at Rhame Avenue Elementary School as an aide, she served as a clerk at the East Rockaway Public Library for two decades. Daitz was also a member of the Bay Park Civic Association for several years and of the11518, a local recovery group formed after Hurricane Sandy.

“She was just a quiet person who did the right thing because it was the right thing to do,” said Elizabeth, who lived around the corner from her mother in Rockville Centre. “She did nice things because she really liked helping people.”

After Sandy, Daitz was instrumental in gathering supplies and getting them to the East Rockaway Fire Department for those impacted by the storm. She provided coffee to firefighters and drove through areas of Bay Park to make sure residents had what they needed.

Elizabeth said she worked closely with her mother to help people. She recalled that on the Christmas after Sandy, her mother came up with the idea of anonymously donating to storm victims all of the money family members were planning to spend on gifts for one another. Daitz would always say nice things about her daughters, but never took any credit.

“After Sandy, all of the good stuff my mom said about me was stuff that she did with me,” Elizabeth said. “It wasn’t me doing any of that stuff by myself. It was my mom. And she just did it quietly.”

During Sue’s wake on Feb. 13 and funeral on Feb. 14, Elizabeth said she was overwhelmed by the support of the East Rockaway community, including the outpouring of love from her mother’s former colleagues. “The teachers from Rhame Avenue that my mom hadn’t worked with since the ‘80s came to the wake,” she said. “You turn around and see your third-grade teacher or one of the aides who said, ‘Your mom was my first friend at Rhame Avenue.’ I’ll never forget that.”

Caracciolo said that Daitz was best friends with his mother-in-law, and he remembers how good a listener she was. He fondly recalled building a playground in East Rockaway with Daitz and others in memory of Noah Pozner, a 6-year-old who died in the Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings in Connecticut in 2012. The playground was part of The Sandy Ground: Where Angels Play, an initiative to build 26 playgrounds in New Jersey, New York and Connecticut towns that were damaged by Sandy. Each one honors the memory of the 20 children and six teachers who died at the school.

“Sue was a big part of the playground getting there,” Caracciolo said. “She was a big part of monitoring and helping it, because she believed in supporting the community and the victims of Sandy Hook.”

Caracciolo said that his family has been close to the Daitz family for years, and that his two daughters treated Sue as if she were their grandmother. She hosted Thanksgiving at her house, he recalled, and her family always felt like his own. “It’s family that you choose,” he said. “Obviously we’re not blood-related, but we’re probably closer than some of my relatives.”

Daitz’s work in the community was not limited to disaster recovery. Elizabeth said that her mother would do little things to help people. She shared a story about someone leaving a passport in the copy machine at the library. Her mother tracked down the parents of the person who lost it and dropped it off to them.

Elizabeth said that her mother also once drove two blind people to the Lynbrook train station because the trains weren’t running out of East Rockaway, and they had no way of getting to their destination. “Not too many people do that for strangers,” she said.

East Rockaway Deputy Mayor Theresa Gaffney said that when she lost her home after Sandy, Daitz told her that she shouldn’t be shy when it came to taking supplies that were donated to the firehouse, and emphasized that Gaffney was a victim, too. “Sue is just an icon around town,” Gaffney said. “She was always everywhere and she would always help people, but she would do it quietly. She would just do it and move on.”

Elizabeth said she learned many lessons from her mother about spreading kindness and helping out. “I think my mom’s legacy in the community is to stand up for what people believe in and what people believe is right,” Elizabeth said. “To not be afraid to lend your voice to someone who might not be as strong as you and may not have the resources you have. And to really just be kind to your neighbors and enjoy the time you have while you’re here.”