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Overcast Celebrating lifelong marital commitments
Sharing interests and compromising are key, couples say
With Valentine’s Day on Sunday, celebrating love is in the air, and two couples, who are members of the Center for Adult Life Enrichment in Hewlett, explain how their marriages have lasted more than half a century.
Helen and Maartin Inwald of North Woodmere, who have been married for 67 years, were introduced by Helen’s neighbor, who knew both of them, and set them up on a blind date.
“I was anxious,” Maartin said, “I’d just finished serving in World War II, and wasn’t quite sure how things in dating were done. We spent an evening in New York City, and I’d planned our date like an engineer. I planned activities that took us all across Manhattan.”
Helen remembered the cold weather that night, but also how much she was attracted to Maartin. “I loved his smile,” she said. “We’d gone out during the famous winter storm of 1947. He was so cheerful and I enjoyed being around him.”
They married on December 19, 1948. “We’d gotten married during a snowstorm,” she said. “It was difficult for our guests to get home. Those of our friends who are still alive and were there that day, still talk about it.”
For 62 years, they lived in the same house in North Valley Stream, and recently moved into an assisted living facility. Maartin was a structural engineer and Helen, a teacher and social worker, taught third- and fourth-graders in her Valley Stream community. They have three sons and three daughters-in-law, six grandchildren and one great-grandchild.
Their secret to a happy and successful marriage, Maartin said, is about listening. “It’s about compromising, and really hearing what your partner is trying to say,” he said. “Sometimes you have to give in and say, ‘You’re right.’ Sometimes the person feels more strongly about a point of view, and you have to let them win.”
While sharing interests such as travelling, they also have separate interests to maintain a happy and healthy marriage. “I belong to organizations Maartin doesn’t,” she said. “We also make time to keep in touch with our friends.”
