Some problems: I most definitely cannot act. I’m a bit long in the tooth and short in the legs to play Scarlett, but if I were going to camp, that’s what I’d like to do: study the lines, train with a cast of like-minded “campers” and shoot our homemade version of the film. Of course, with a limited budget we might not do the entire burning of Atlanta. But we’d do our best.
If I can’t find a GWTW camp, I would choose Gospel Singing Camp. I can’t sing, either, but no matter. I want to wear one of those long black robes with a crisp white collar underneath. I want to stand shoulder to shoulder with other singers, raising our voices to the rafters. I want to be part of a choir belting out “Daddy Sang Bass” and “Rock of Ages.” If I could add a week extension to my Gospel Singing fantasy camp, it would be to work as an itinerant preacher. I would set up my tent and preach my heart out. How amazing to help generate all that love and positive energy in one space. But I draw the line at snake handling.
There’s another camp, really off the grid, that I’d love to experience. My inner dog sled wrangler is tugging at my leash. Imagine racing a team of dogs in the Iditarod. OK, it doesn’t have to be the Iditarod, but how cool to go to a camp in Alaska or the Yukon and learn to drive a team of huskies over the snow. One of my heroes is Susan Butcher, who won the Iditarod four times and distinguished herself as the first woman to dominate the sport. How hard can it be to race a team of dogs across frozen ice fields?
The last camp on my summer getaway list is British Royalty Camp. I’ve been watching a documentary series about Queen Elizabeth, and her life looks pretty good to me. I’d like to live in a castle, have ladies in waiting and attend fancy dress balls. My people would lay out the afternoon tea. Maybe there’d be time for a turn about London in the royal coach. One week in a tiara would be more than enough.
Grandiose? Self-indulgent? Excessive? Absolutely. If I wanted to do something selfless, I’d sign up for Habitat for Humanity. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s just for another time of year.
It’s summertime. With the U.S. poised to fight in Syria, with Congress more dysfunctional than ever, with the stock market in earthquake mode, I need a great escape.
Copyright © 2013 Randi Kreiss. Randi can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.