Jerry Kremer

Flying long ago stopped being good comedy

Posted

I’m sure there are at least a few readers who remember two great comedians, the late Alan King and Bob Newhart. One of their favorite topics was the hazards of air travel. Their comments were hilarious and right to the point. It was good comedy then, but these days the plight of a typical airline passenger is decidedly short on funny.

Let’s start with the food. Once upon a time, airline meals were almost as good as restaurant fare. There were lots of choices and very few cases of food poisoning. Travelers could look forward to a hearty meal. These days, all you get is a snack on shorter flights, and not much to brag about on longer flights. In most cases you have to pay to be fed, while the thrifty masses are left out.

Remember the days when you could get a blanket or a pillow? In the beginning, the pillows were soft and the blankets were comfortable. But as time went by, the pillows got smaller and the blankets less plush, and the airlines started charging for them. These days, unless you’re sitting in business class, you don’t even bother asking for one. On my last trip, I think there was one blanket in the entire plane.

Next, there’s baggage. In the old days, you could pack the contents of your house in a bunch of suitcases and schlep them up to the counter, where they were checked, no charge. As time went by the permitted baggage was downsized, and airlines saw another potential revenue stream. Today only a small number of carriers allow even one free bag, and if you have larger suitcases, you may need a second mortgage to pay for them.

Then there’s making a reservation. When you call an airline to book a flight, you’re giving them business, adding to their bottom line. Years ago they were eager to have your business, and you knew it from the voice on the phone. Now? Be prepared to pay a surcharge to book a flight, and they make it clear they’re doing you a favor. You can go online, at their suggestion, but on many occasions I’ve given up on the fifth try and have instead submitted to their fee for the once-free service.

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