Calhoun student fights back against bullying with music

While Brianna McDonough, 16, of Merrick, and Brendan Carr, 13, of Long Beach, were not close, she understands how bullying played a part in his September 2016 suicide.

McDonough, a student at Canford H. Calhoun High School, sat at a small table in the corner of her crowded house and picked off pieces of a corn muffin, eating them between sentences. “[Bullies] won’t come up to you and push you against the wall,” she said, leaning in as if sharing a secret. “They’ll whisper things behind your back. Or they’ll just stop talking to you or purposely isolate you.”

McDonough slipped a few crumbs into her mouth and added that when she was bullied, it was overwhelming. Confused, she ultimately asked: “What did I do wrong?” and “What’s wrong with me?” Suicide is the second-leading cause of death in people ages 10 to 34, according to a 2014 study conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

McDonough said that she found refuge from bullying through music — specifically symphonic metal by Epica and Nightwish. She sings, plays several instruments and has performed at charity events across Long Island. After a referral from her private vocal coach, Stephanie Horowitz-Mulry, McDonough applied to join the performance group American Music Abroad this summer for its 2017 Freedom Tour across Western Europe.

Because of her family’s financial situation, McDonough set up a Gofundme page and dedicated it to Carr, pledging to donate half of what she raises — and any funds over her $5,000 goal — to the Long Island Coalition Against Bullying in his memory. LICAB seeks to create bully-free communities by offering educational programs and support services such as peer mentoring.

McDonough and Carr both attended Studio Noir Summer Youth All Stars in Long Beach. Through the program, instructor Ben Metzger put bands together with the attendees and performed with them at local venues. McDonough said that teachers like Metzger and Horowitz-Mulry have always told her to persist, despite the bullying. “They’d say, ‘Just keep playing’ and ‘Don’t let them take [music] away from you,’” she added.

McDonough’s mother, Dayann, said that she was proud when her daughter set up the Gofundme page. “She’s a great kid who didn’t want her mother to eat ramen noodles trying to get her to Europe,” she said. Her pride deepened when she saw that Brianna had dedicated the page to Carr and was raising money for LICAB.

“What’s really touching is not the large amounts,” said Dayann, “but the small amounts. The small amounts are coming from children.”

To donate to McDonough’s page, visit www.gofundme.com/Brees2017TourAMA.