John Davis, always making a difference

During dinner on Labor Day, Davis first noticed something might be wrong. He told his wife, Pamela Banks, a physician, that his food tasted strange. Soon he was unable to speak. Pamela thought her husband was having a stroke, and rushed him to the emergency room. Davis regained his speech only to be told that he was suffering from a brain tumor.
The family pulled together, all showing their support by wearing yellow "Live Strong" Lance Armstrong bracelets. They were certain that Davis would conquer cancer as Armstrong had. Davis seemed to be able to overcome any obstacle.
He continued to serve as president of Universal Remote Control Inc., a manufacturer and distributor of remote controls. He also attended school board meetings, and remained active as a board member of Child Abuse Prevention Services. Neighbors continued to see Davis out running, one of his many passions.
He underwent several brain surgeries to remove the tumor, as well as chemotherapy. But in April, Pamela said, the tumor strengthened, and even though Davis endured more surgery and chemotherapy, the tumor was too aggressive. He died the evening of July 29, while in hospice care. He was 49.
Pamela said that she and her husband had always been a team. As a doctor, she knew that he might die from the tumor, but even so, losing John was a shock for her. "The tumor was a scary thing, and there were no warning signs," said Pamela. She decided against keeping medical secrets from John throughout his illness. "I was always honest with him, but we always were positive, always discussing how we were going to fight it. I think my kids are doing well now because we kept such a positive attitude."
Originally from upstate New York, Davis married Pamela 16 years ago. The family lived in Merrick for seven years, where the couple raised their children, Alexandria, 14, Caroline, 12, Harrison, 9, and Jacqueline, 4.
When Davis became ill, he was serving his fourth year on the Merrick school board. His colleagues continue to mourn his loss and believe the community will sorely miss him. "John gave 110 percent to everything he did. If someone called for help, he was the first one there," said board President Susan Schwartz. "I enjoyed having him as my vice president and valued his opinions. He was such an important part of our board."
Trustee Benay Shear was impressed by Davis's ability to listen and learn from others. Davis had two master¹s degrees, one from C.W. Post, in finance, and the other from Adelphi, in business administration. Shear said the board valued his ideas on financial accountability and his commitment to ensuring that taxpayers not be overburdened. And, Shear said, Merrick children were always at the forefront of Davis's mind.
"John dedicated his public time to making the lives of the children of Bellmore-Merrick better," said Shear. "He was concerned with moral values. I'll always remember his passion for the issues and what he believed was right."
Dr. Nancy Kaplan, the newest Merrick school board trustee, respected Davis and considered him a friend. "John fought the cancer really, really hard," said Kaplan. "My mother died eight months ago, and John couldn't drive because of his illness. He walked a couple of miles to my house to pay his respects. I wanted to drive him home, but he said no, that he was walking."
Davis touched many lives and left behind a legacy of good works. In good times and bad, he was always involved. John Rossi, a North Merrick Board of Education trustee, met Davis in the wake of the 2003 Mepham High School football scandal. "I remember that on a cold night in December 2003, as disturbing revelations continued to unfold about the Mepham football camp, a diverse group of community members gravitated to each other inside a church in Bellmore," said Rossi. "Emotions spilled in every direction, and someone asked, 'Where are our school board members in all of this?' and John Davis stood up and said, 'I'm a school board member.¹"
That was the first time Rossi met Davis, but he said that from that moment on, Davis was a controlling voice and a leading figure in helping to found Bellmore-Merrick Parents for Change, an organization committed to changing state school-safety laws. "John provided a sense of direction -- he was a compass and a lighthouse during a very stormy period," said Rossi. "John was a natural and gifted leader."
Rossi was equally impressed by Davis's courage during his illness. He recalled seeing Davis, his head bandaged from a recent surgery, at a joint PTA meeting in the spring. It was obvious to Rossi that Davis was gravely ill, yet, he said, Davis still participated, commenting on various issues at the meeting.
"John inspired me to 'take a run' at the board in North Merrick. 'I think you could do it,' he said," recalled Rossi. "John was in my life a short time, but he was like the older brother I always wanted."
Davis was also instrumental in making changes as a board member of Child Abuse Prevention Services, a not-for-profit organization providing child-safety and prevention programs. "A few years ago, we were sitting and talking, and John said to me, 'You make a difference in people's lives, and I want to, too,¹" said Pamela. "He researched many organizations and came across CAPS. When John did anything, it was always full speed ahead."
When Davis came to CAPS in 1993, he had an idea. "John wanted to put together a charity golf outing, and we've held one ever since. It's become a cornerstone of our fund-raising," said CAPS Executive Director Alane Fagin. "John always provided good strategies and was instrumental in linking us with a number of community organizations. He introduced us to legislators."
Fagin said that Davis did much for the organization. "I'll miss his energy and focus,² he said. ³He was so motivated and dedicated to our cause, and he was always thinking of how to improve the organization."
Davis was a strong believer in improvement, both professional and personal, and asked family and friends to strive to be the best they could be. "No matter what you did, John pushed you to do more," said friend Karen Lentin. The Lentin and Davis families often vacationed together. "We went on skiing vacations, and I was happy on the bunny slope," said Lentin. "But John always said, 'No, you're going to blue or green.' But that was the way John led his life: You can always do better."
Davis was not only an avid runner, but also a committed rugby player. "He was not only a fantastic player, but an ambassador mentor of the younger guys," said Terence Hunt, who played rugby with Davis for 15 years. "But everyone always looked up to John, both teammates and opponents. There were over 75 guys at John's memorial. It was like a fireman's funeral."
Though he was always busy, Davis never missed his children's athletic games. "He adored his children, and pushed them to do better on the field," said Lentin. "He melted when he saw them. His children were his life."
The Davis family wants to carry on John's legacy. Pamela is planning to reach out to the community to help other women prepare for the loss of a husband. The Davis children will start a support group at Calhoun High School in the fall for children who have lost a parent or close relative.
"John touched so many lives, more lives than I knew. His memorial was upbeat and positive," said Pamela, adding that "the community has been terrific. John's goals were always to serve the Merrick community. I think he did so, beyond his dreams."
In addition to his wife and children, Davis is survived by his mother, Sylvia, and two brothers, Brian and Michael.
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