Ruth

Because I wasn't there, I believe that my mother Ruth left this world much the same way she had spent much of her 92 years in it: unassuming, gentle and kind. With a full demanding life she was pretty strong, though she was the last one to be aware of it. I spent many conversations summoning up encouragement for her after we had fought moments before, but come to think of it, so did she. It was always Mom who reminded me to "take care, drive carefully, love you" and "nice jacket/hat/purse (by the way)."

So rather than think of how this passing had left all kinds of ways to do things differently in a Covid-19 world, I want to honor her for having learned about her posthumously from the eyes of three women. They not just expressed polite condolences, but told me what she meant to them, in the context of being my friend.

One remembered Ruth for accompanying me to the college open house that ultimately lead to my undergrad degree. This friend recalled being there with her mother too, and she acknowledged that unique connection between parents and children. These two committed moms were there for us both, through our education, three national advertising competitions and two graduations.

My former roommate characterized Ruth as enjoyable to be around, "fun in a soft way (with) a peaceful aura". Inspired but not forgotten.

Both women also took the time to mention Ruth's quest for learning. She never let age stop her and she got her associate's degree fifty years after her high school diploma.

And then there is my best friend who I met that first day in high school journalism class. She never said it outright until now, but I had always sensed how she felt, now identifying Ruth as her "second mom" for her compassionate and attentive nature.

I now realize that like all of us, there were many before and after Ruths. Ruth before marriage and family. Ruth before my brother moved away. Before I met these amazing three women. Before my dad died.

But in the peace of retrospect, I now understand that she was not just Ruth because of her life altering experiences. She was Ruth because she always connected with people. She always cared about people. She always did things to grow. And she never stopped exuding courage, albeit gently and quietly.

A contributing writer to the Herald since 2012, Lauren Lev is an East Meadow resident and a direct marketing/advertising executive who teaches marketing fundamentals as well as advertising and marketing communications courses at the Fashion Institute of Technology and SUNY Old Westbury.