SIBSPlace head says goodbye

For more than 15 of the 20 years that Hewlett-based SIBSPlace has existed, Woodmere resident Suzanne Kornblatt has overseen it. The free after-school therapeutic program, headquartered in a medical office building in Hewlett, helps children and parents understand their emotions while dealing with the catastrophic illness of a family member.

On Tuesday, as the Herald went to press, Kornblatt, 68, was set to retire as executive director. Her successor was yet to be named.

Survivorship in Brothers and Sisters was the inspiration of Hewlett Harbor resident Michael Schamroth, according to Arlene Basner, of Woodmere, who, along with her husband, Norman, was also a founding member. SIBSPlace was developed in partnership with South Nassau Communities Hospital in Oceanside, now Mount Sinai South Nassau.

“Unfortunately, our children were at Hewlett High School when three students had different types of cancer  . . . and none survived,” Arlene Basner, SIBSPlace’s board president, recalled. “We get a call from Mike Schamroth to come to his house. He had an idea to share.”

One of the students with cancer was Neil Perkell, and his parents, Joan and Al Perkell, also helped establish SIBSPlace. Al died in 2010, but Joan remains a board member.

Originally established as a place for siblings ages 5 to 17 to learn how to cope with a brother’s or sister’s cancer, SIBS-Place was expanded in 2007 to include children whose siblings or parents were diagnosed with devastating illnesses. It now serves more than 300 children.

Kornblatt was overseeing the Margaret Basner Parenting Center at the Tempo Group, in Woodmere, when she was chosen to lead SIBSPlace in 2004. The Tempo Group is a nonprofit counseling center that focuses on substance abuse and family issues. The Parenting Center is no longer operating. “I think the most important thing I learned from that experience,” Kornblatt said, “was if parents knew how to respond to their children, and if they had a sense of confidence that they themselves would feel much more relaxed and then transfer that to their children.”

A licensed social worker with a master’s from Adelphi University, Kornblatt began her SIBSPlace career by writing a thank-you note to Bill Dubin, the Hewlett High School boys’ basketball coach. Dubin had sent a check from a Hoops for Hope game and event he organized to help support SIBSPlace. “Because I had known him through a relationship through the high school, I was so thrilled to see he was a supporter of SIBS,” Kornblatt said. “We’ve had a continuing wonderful relationship.” Dubin, now a SIBS board member, organized four basketball games this season to support the group.

“Suzanne has been the backbone of SIBS,” he said. “She has been an advocate for the SIBS kids as well as the person that we could always look to for advice. Her support for the Hoops for Hope basketball games has been instrumental to our success. Her legacy will be one of love, perseverance and professionalism.”

An outsized impact

Listing Kornblatt’s accomplishments — program expansion, multiple fundraisers, gaining nonprofit status and co-writing a book, “Staying Afloat,” a guide for parents — would be the typical way to recognize her impact.

But that only partially captures what she and her staff do. A half-hour interview at SIBSPlace’s Dec. 20 holiday party was interrupted several times by children and families not only saying goodbye to her, but also hugging her as if they might not let go. One child thanked her for being part of her life. One of the many parents who thanked her asked if they could make dinner plans.

Kornblatt recalled a boy whose mother died roughly three years ago. “He said, ‘I’m never going to laugh again,’” she said. “He was in so much pain. It hurt to see that. Then we were sitting in a group, and I said, ‘Tell me a funny story about your mom,’ and all of a sudden he was giggling. It was infectious.” Even when she reminded the boy what he had said, he didn’t stop laughing. “It’s OK, even if your heart’s broken, to smile, laugh,” she said. “It doesn’t change what happened. It helps you cope.”

Arlene Basner recounted an evening nearly six years ago, when Kornblatt asked some children why they come to SIBSPlace. “One youngster said that he doesn’t talk about what’s happening in his family with the kids at school, because they wouldn’t understand how he feels,” Basner said, “but at SIBS, he shares all his feelings and everyone understands and supports him.”

Asked what that story means to her, Kornblatt paused, appearing to collect her thoughts. She noted the “depth of sadness” children experience watching loved ones who were once so strong become “weak and vulnerable” because of an illness. SIBSPlace children do not have typical discussions.

“When they come to SIBS they can talk about it with each other,” Kornblatt said. “It becomes a conversation of, what kind of side effects do your parents have or does your brother or sister have? And it becomes normal for that to come up. Just as normal as ‘I had a test this week.’”

An empathetic ear

Kornblatt learned early in life about loss. When she was 3, her barely year-old sister, Rebecca, died. “What a child of 3 understands is that there’s no one in the crib anymore,” she said, adding that having lost a sister and seeing her parents grieve, “It helps me to understand when parents are here expressing their stories and sharing their vulnerabilities.”

One of Kornblatt’s own children, now 40, has special needs. The work she has done with SIBSPlace, she said, honors her son’s life. “I try so hard to understand how to make his life as good as it could be,” she said.

Assistant Director Joanna Formont has also been at SIBS since 2004. Working in collaboration with Kornblatt, Formont has seen the expansion of programs and Kornblatt’s support of new ideas.

“She has supported the staff in creating and delivering a dynamic and engaging curriculum of expressive arts activities that allow the children who attend the program to openly explore feelings, share personal family experiences with peers and develop healthy and long-lasting coping skills,” Formont said. “Suzanne has propelled the program’s outreach and awareness by fostering relationships with local and community groups, agencies, hospitals and schools, leading to increased referrals to the program and fundraising initiatives. Her commitment and compassion for the children and families of SIBSPlace will forever be woven into the foundation of the services provided.”

As the organization progresses toward its 20th anniversary in October, construction is beginning on its new Rockville Centre location, which is expected to open later this year. Kornblatt might not miss the cramped Hewlett quarters, but she said she would miss “the moments when I see the parents, the children relating to each other and freeing themselves of some of the intense vulnerabilities and intense sadness that they have. Seeing how they hug each other, seeing how they hold each other.”

For Arlene Basner, Kornblatt’s devotion “knows no bounds. “Whoever’s life she touches, she enriches so much,” Basner said. “She is the most supportive person I’ve ever met. She is just amazing.”