One of my favorite parts of the Passover Seder is the part about the “Four Sons/Children.” It’s a beautifully crafted narrative based on four verses from the Torah; three from Exodus and one from Deuteronomy, that gives us a glimpse not only of the ancient rabbinic mind, but of the much more modern concept of multiple learning modalities. The section begins, “The Torah speaks of four children; one who is wise, one who is wicked, one who is simple, and one who doesn’t even know how to ask a question.” All of this is based on the commandment to tell one’s child about Yetziat Mitzrayim, the “Going Out” of Egypt. In three instances, the child asks the question, and in the last, the Torah simply says, “And you will tell your child on that day . . . ”
Of course, we’re supposed to tell the story of how God took us out of slavery in Egypt “with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm,” but there’s much more to our experience of telling the Passover story. For many of us, it can mean the difference between a boring, rote Seder (fifth question: When do we eat?) and one that is meaningful and relevant to us in today’s world.
What can we learn from the story of the Four Children? Plenty. The first is to think about the one we call the rasha, the “wicked” child, who asks his question somewhat sarcastically. The text answers him rather harshly, but what’s important to remember is that he’s at the table with everyone else. We don’t exclude him because of his attitude, but we also don’t over-indulge his behavior.