Saturday, June 21, 2025
Over time, I asked my campus communities to think about what it means to be an ethical person, and our roles and obligations as members of society. Could we remain silent when we knew of social and economic injustice? Could we be indifferent in the face of unethical behavior and discrimination in the public square?
Such thoughts were inspired again by news reports of bullying in politics, schoolyards, public hearings and international relations.
These are difficult times. Relations between groups are strained.
I would hope that even in times like these, families, clergy, teachers and leaders would prepare children and inspire others with the basic values of civility, courtesy, sincerity and respect. Our sense of community needs it. Our national values — freedom of speech, freedom of assembly, freedom of religion, democracy itself — will wither without it.
I think, as citizens, we must employ an “ethical eye” to observe and challenge societal patterns that test our sense of what is fair and just. This takes courage as well as compassion. It is our obligation to address injustices wherever they occur in a consistent manner, not with one lens for a friend and another for a foe. We must believe in tolerance, accepting that another can be right without my being wrong.
Compassion is a key component in how we relate to others. Many texts on leadership emphasize empathy, i.e., feeling the pain of others. This is better than simple sympathy, feeling sorry for others, but does not lead to necessary action. Compassion is an act of service, not just a feeling about others.
We often hear calls for greater “civility.” These calls frequently are in response to acts of aggression and other forms of humiliating behavior. Cries for civility are really calls for compassion and respect, to stop using fear or denigrating language as weapons. Such tactics by corporate and political leaders are especially troubling for the messages they send and the models of behavior they represent.
What we want is for people to be considerate, friendly, and even generous to others. The most effective leaders know this. Saying “Thank you” or “You’re welcome” is not difficult. Being kind is even good for our health.
Respect is denied through acts of antisemitism, racism and other forms of prejudice. One result is fear. Therefore, it is understandable that those who have been subjected to bias personally or historically want respect and peaceful relations. Indeed, I assume that everyone wants respect as a simple fact of his or her being.
We should teach in our schools and houses of worship, and especially in our homes, that others should be respected, even if they are different from us. But there is a difference between respect for humanity at large, respect for ethnic, national, religious, racial and other groups in general, and respect for any one person.
Respect should be offered freely. An individual’s actions should no more reflect poorly on an entire group than a group’s actions should reflect poorly on any individual.
However, individual respect, once lost, can be regained only through effort: by expressing remorse and trying to help others. Respect is lost when someone acts in a callous manner, by disregarding others, by belittling the place and relevance of others. When someone “demands” respect and does so in a manner that itself is disrespectful, he or she not only misses the point but also demeans the issue.
A school or college is a precious place. It is where truth, in whatever form, may be pursued without hindrance. It is where freedom of speech must be protected to the utmost. It is a place where diversity — of background, ethnicity, nationality, religion, physical ability or gender — should be respected. It is also a place where civil discourse and respect for one another is essential if a full and honest exchange of views is to be assured.
Without common courtesy, ears are closed. When ears are closed, there can be no mutual respect. We must learn to listen and disagree without being disagreeable. Those who shout the loudest for respect often do the least to gain it.
No one should be the other if our education has succeeded. We are one species, with each member seeking to find a unity connecting head, heart and hands — i.e. compassion — which is an act of respect.
Robert A. Scott is president emeritus of Adelphi University and co-author of “Letters to Students: What it Means to be a College Graduate” (Roman & Littlefield, 2024).
