Jerry Kremer

A Tribute to All the Daves

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Somehow, in April, I missed observing National Siblings Day, and then the time rolled by and along came Memorial Day. So I’m taking this opportunity to talk about my brother, David Kremer, and salute the many other brothers and sisters who really shouldn’t need a special day. This first week of June will mark a year since Dave (he liked that better) died at age 89.
I’m sure that every one of our readers who enjoy a special relationship with a sibling understands how significant a role they play in our lives. Those of you who are lucky enough to have a living sibling know how important they can be, provided you haven’t let some petty grievance get in the way. As a rule, most of us reach out to a sibling at almost any time of the day or week for a kind word or just reassurance that all is well.
Two of my friends recently lost siblings, and they described to me at length missed opportunities or a lifetime of strong bonds that are irreplaceable. All of their comments reminded me of my loss, and the fact that Dave is no longer a part of my life. A day doesn’t go by without a moment when I think about reaching out to him, just to exchange a few simple words. It took quite a few years for my brother to express his love, but getting older does that to people.
Dave had a lot of unique qualities. He was the family historian, and had an encyclopedic memory of just about everything. He knew not only the day, but also the hour that I was born, and where he was as he anxiously waiting to greet his baby brother. He would regale me with facts about distant relatives and their family history. His knowledge of family trivia was bottomless. He had photos of relatives who I didn’t know existed.
When I ran for public office, Dave was always there, pushing me to take care of all the minute details of successful campaigning. When I would arrive at some campaign event, he was waiting outside the building, staring at his watch and reminding me that I was two minutes late. He would usher me into the building quickly, making sure that I didn’t linger too long with a faithful voter.

I consider myself a devout Yankees fan. I check the baseball scores whenever the team is playing, even if it’s early in the season and the games don’t really mean that much. I would spot him at some dinner listening to the game with earphones, while everyone else was chatting away. On days when I called him to announce some Yankee mistake or achievement, he would tell me he’d heard about it hours earlier. I always thought I was up on all things Yankees, but he eclipsed me.
Last year, we decided we should observe Dave’s birthday at a place he would really enjoy. So as a family, we bought a bunch of tickets to Yankee Stadium on the week of his 89th birthday. The plan was to get his name on the scoreboard and salute him for another milestone in his life. As fate would have it, he didn’t make it to the game. But the whole family went, and shared a special moment when his name flashed on the screen. The nieces and nephews cheered the loudest for Uncle David.
I write this not as a sad remembrance, but rather as a reminder of the importance of siblings in our lives. Having a special brother or sister can be an enormous blessing. It’s an experience that can’t be replicated, so long as you stay close to those special family members and are willing to meet them halfway on life’s issues.
Make those short phone calls just to say hello. Keep them close no matter how far away they may live. If you’re lucky to have the right relationship, then every day will be National Siblings Day.

Jerry Kremer was a state assemblyman for 23 years, and chaired the Assembly’s Ways and Means Committee for 12 years. He now heads Empire Government Strategies, a business development and legislative strategy firm. Comments about this column? JKremer@liherald.com.