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Fog/Mist When bullying goes too far
Father shares painful tale with Valley Stream junior high students
Oct. 7, 2003 was the worst day of John Halligan’s life. At 6 a.m., while away on a business trip, he received a call from his wife that their 13-year-old son, Ryan, was dead.
Ryan had committed suicide, the result of years of bullying in school. Seventh- and eighth-grade students at Valley Stream North and South high school heard Halligan’s powerful story last Thursday.
Halligan began by introducing the students to Ryan with a video and photo montage. He spoke of Ryan’s developmental difficulties as a child in speech, language and motor skills. Ryan was able to get the early intervention he needed through the school district in Poughkeepsie, N.Y. Halligan worked for IBM, which downsized in 1993, but was able to keep his job if he moved to Vermont. The family did leave and settled in Essex Junction.
By the time Ryan was in fourth-grade, he had caught up to his classmates and didn’t need special education services anymore. A year later, one boy and his group of friends targeted Ryan and taunted him for his academic struggles and athletic awkwardness. Halligan said to ignore the bully and the strategy worked for a while. In December 2002, Halligan found his son, then in seventh-grade, at the kitchen table with his head down. “I hate that school. I hate that school. I never want to go back there again,” Halligan recalls Ryan saying.
Ryan had tried to get involved with sports to become popular, but didn’t make any teams. He found his niche in music and drama, and also at making others laugh. He also wanted to learn how to defend himself and took up tae bo kickboxing. One day, Ryan and the bully got into a fight at a local park, and Ryan told his father he got a few good shots in. Halligan admitted that, at that time, he was proud of his son.
The two boys eventually became friends. It was a decision Halligan questioned — with good reason. The bully, near the end of the school year, spread a rumor around school that Ryan was gay. Over the summer, Ryan spent much time on the Internet trying to dispel that rumor.
