The four parents: a message for Passover

One of the most famous and popular sections of the Passover Haggadah is the story of the Four Sons: the wise son, the wicked or contrary son, the simple son, and the one who does not even know how to ask a question.  This passage is included in the Haggadah to encourage parents to teach their children about Judaism on each child’s own level.
   
Modern commentators have suggested that the situation of the contemporary American Jewish community is such that we might want to change this section of the Haggadah to reflect a reversal of roles.  In many cases today, it is the children who have a greater desire to live fuller, more complete, Jewish lives than their parents do.  It is suggested that we alter the story of the Four Sons so that it is transformed into the story of Four Parents, each of whom reacts differently to his/her child’s quest for a deeper involvement in Judaism.
   
The Wise Parent knows how to encourage his/her child’s Jewish and development.  He or she realizes that the best way to enhance his/her child’s religious growth is by setting a good example for the child to emulate.  This parent attends services regularly with the child; this parent has created a kosher home and already observes Jewish rituals with his/her children; this parent enhances his/her own Jewish education through study and reading. 
  
The Haggadah tells us that if we are this kind of parent, our children are indeed blessed; if we are not yet this type of Jewish parent, this is the ideal towards which we must strive.
   
The Contrary Parent reacts defensively to his/her child’s desire to become more observant.  Perhaps out of fear, jealousy, self-centeredness, or a feeling of rejection, this parent is unwilling to take any steps in order to accommodate the child’s new-found love of Jewish tradition. This parent refuses to allow the child’s enthusiasm towards Jewish observance to find expression in the home. In fact, this parent’s lack of responsiveness or refusal to be accommodating, alienates the child.