A tribute to the fallen

Will there ever come the day when a person is heard to say, “Oh, I’m going to wait for the 9/11 sales to buy my new refrigerator or couch,” the way we  hear that same phrase over and over again for Veterans Day or Presidents Day or Memorial Day? 

Such casualness (callousness?) seems impossible to many of us in South Shore communities who were touched so deeply by the tragedy of that September morning: we lost family, friends, neighbors; we mourn the faces that are missing from family events, we comfort the children who lost parents, and we marvel still at the selfless heroics of so many brave men and women. The events of Sept. 11, 2001, reverberate throughout our daily lives.

However, there has been a recent discouraging trend: the “normalization” of Sept. 11.  In the past few years I have noticed more and more events, athletic games, public celebrations planned for this date, with no sense that perhaps the significance of Sept. 11 should be considered when calendars are involved. Last year, I was appalled to see a sign in a store window: “Closed for vacation, see you Sept. 11!” as if it were just another date. Obviously, the business owners deserved a vacation, but couldn’t they have planned their return for the 10th or the 12th? Every time I see the casual disregard of the significance of that date, I am saddened.

In another example, last year, a nearby soccer club held its opening kick off and game on Sept. 11. An organization that lost four coaches and named a field in memory of those lost, scheduled a festive occasion for Sept.11. I have been told that there was moment of silence: a moment of silence while young siblings not even born nine years ago ran up and down kicking soccer balls and the concession stand was open and running and horns honked in the parking lot. I understand that fall schedules and field access are a nightmare, and certainly every organization has the right to schedule events. It is also evident that thought was given to the significance of the date. But again I ask the question: why not the 10th or the 12th?

There should be a certain sacredness associated with Sept. 11 that would preclude even considering such a situation. If this can happen on Long Island, what can we expect of parts of our country that were not touched the way we were?

So what is the answer? How should we honor Sept. 11? Many of us remember that for days, and even weeks after the attacks, there was a sense of community, of outreach, of kindness that permeated our town. Amidst searing grief and pain, neighbors, friends, strangers reached out and said, “What can I do? How can I help?”

Recently, Sept. 11 was designated a “National Day of Service and Remembrance” and we are urged to volunteer, to give back to the community. This seems to me a wonderful way to pay tribute to those whose lives were lost and to all of those who showed such bravery, compassion and selflessness during that September nine years ago.

When I mentioned to a family member that I felt that this National Day of Service and Remembrance was such a wonderful idea, her immediate response was, “Yes, but I don’t want the real meaning of the day, a terrorist attack on the United States, an act of destruction, to be forgotten in the idea of service and compassion.” I agree that we cannot forget. However, I look at days in our history that are only remembered for death or hatred, and the sad truth is that those days are being forgotten entirely. Could anyone of the Greatest Generation conceive of a time when June 6 or Dec. 7 would not be dates seared into everyone’s consciousness? But as the brave men who stormed the beaches of Normandy, or the grieving families of those lost at Pearl Harbor die, our collective memory fades and the significance of these days is lost. We cannot allow that to happen to Sept. 11.

In October 2001, Parade magazine published an essay by Elie Wiesel, who has stood as a brilliant beacon of memory, compassion and humanitarianism despite or because of his experiences in the Holocaust. I first read this essay while the smoke was still visible in the New York skyline, and his words stayed with me and now seem even more cogent. In part he said, in reflecting on what America’s reaction should be to the attack and its aftermath, “For in the end, it is always a matter of choice. Even when faced with the murderous madness of criminals, and in the presence of the silent agony of their victims, it is incumbent upon us to choose between escape and solidarity, shame and honor. The terrorists have chosen shame. We choose honor.”

Now, almost 10 years later, we must continue to choose honor: to honor the memory of the lives lost by not letting this date become a forgotten date, an ordinary date, just another space on a Blackberry to enter an event or celebration. Let us remember that date in service, let us remember that date in refection, but most of all, let us remember that date.

Eileen Burke is an English teacher and the co-director of the Falk-Sysak Student Service Center at Mineola High School. She is a resident of Rockville Centre.