5. Avoid making yourself too much “at home”
“What?” retorted John. “Home is where I should be able to just let loose and be me. Don’t tell me I have to be “on” when I’m home.” No, you don’t have to be “on.” You can certainly let your hair down at home. But, if letting your hair down translates into I can do what I damn well please in my own home — meaning fart, burp, be online all night, drop your stuff wherever you feel like it, engross yourself all night in TV, omit “thanks” and “please” from your vocabulary, don’t be surprised if you’re turning your spouse off. So, be yourself at home. But to preserve the vitality of your relationship, know that we all have “multiple selves.” Be your “better” self when you’re with your spouse. Save your sloppy, slimy and skanky self for when you’re home alone.
Linda Sapadin, Ph.D. is a psychologist in private practice that works with individuals, families and couples. Contact her at DrSapadin@aol.com Subscribe to her free e-newsletter at www.PsychWisdom.com