Are you smarter than a 3-year-old?

“When a volcano erupts, what flows out of it?” inquired proud daddy.

“Lava!” exclaimed his 3-year-old son.

“And what’s lava called when it’s beneath the surface of the earth?”

“Magma!” exclaimed this wunderkind whiz kid.

 “What?” piped in Grandma. “What’s magma?”

“You don’t know?” retorted daddy with that tone of voice kids, even adult kids, use to dethrone their parents.

“No son, I don’t know.” 

Shaking his head in disbelief, he continued. “I can’t believe you’ve never heard of magma!”

“Believe it, dear son. For it’s true. Indeed, there are a gazillion things I don’t know. I‘d rattle them off right now if only I knew what they were. But I don’t. So I won’t.”

 Then Grandpa entered the room. Grandma pounced on him. “Do you know what lava’s called when it’s found beneath the surface of the earth?” Oh, if only Grandpa didn’t know, she'd be redeemed.

“Magnum,” he replied.

“Damn,” she thought. "If it weren’t for Tom Selleck confounding Grandpa’s memory, he’d have aced it."

 “So, I’m not smarter than a 3-year-old,” Grandma sheepishly said. Another “pocket of ignorance” has done me in.  

 What are “pockets of ignorance,” you ask? It’s that info that others know, and assume you know, when you don’t.  We all have them. They get you flustered at best, mortified at worst.

 Well, why don’t you know it? Are you stupid or what? No, it’s definitely not stupidity. You just somehow dropped the ball on this word, this tidbit of info, this piece of pop culture.  

Perhaps in fifth grade, you were missing in action the week a science lesson was taught. Perhaps you subscribe to National Geographic solely for the photos, not for the geographical articles. Perhaps you only skim the science news, heading straight for the fashion news.

 There are a myriad of reasons why you may not know something that others know. Perhaps, at one time you did learn it but that morsel of information wasn’t juicy enough to land in your long-term memory bank. That made sense to Grandma for while her delicious 3-year-old grandson is enchanted with volcanoes, she has better things to keep up with.

 Why does it make a difference what you're interested in? Because memory is vastly enhanced when emotions are aroused. Does anybody forget the meaning of sexual words? Or curse words? Or the name of the bully who made your life miserable? No, no, no. Even those with dementia have a hard time forgetting those things (not to even suggest that Grandma has dementia).

 What an awesome gift it would be if each of us could let the other ‘not know’ without being made to feel stupid? With such a gift, there would be no need to be on guard. Grandma agreed: “I used to be petrified that people would find out what I didn’t know. Oh yes, I was quite adept at faking it. But I don’t do that anymore. I know we all have pockets of ignorance. It’s just the subject matter that differs. But for sure, I'll now never forget the word ‘magma.’  

 Indeed, I wouldn’t be surprised if on my deathbed, I cryptically whisper 'Magma.’ My loved ones gathering around me will forever wonder, ‘what did she mean by that?’"

©2011 Linda Sapadin, Ph.D.

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