‘Cancer doesn’t end for us on Oct. 31’

As Geri Barish sat in the waiting room at North Shore LIJ Hospital in 1974 for her son Michael, who was undergoing an operation, she looked around at the other hysterical parents also waiting for their children and at that moment she knew she had to step up and be an advocate for cancer patients.

Michael had been diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma — cancer of the immune system — at the age of 13 that year. Barish’s first encounter with breast cancer also occurred in 1974, when doctors diagnosed her mother with the disease and by the time they did, it was too late as the lump in her mother’s breast was large and her breasts were black. “After my mother’s illness, I felt that I would develop breast cancer because there wasn’t enough knowledge out there and there was a hushness surrounding the disease,” Barish said.

Sure enough, she was right. Twenty-two days before Michael died in 1986, Barish was diagnosed with breast cancer. She can still remember the powerful words her son said to her on his deathbed, “you know Ma, it’s not how long you live on this earth, it’s what you do while you’re on this Earth.”

While Barish struggled to cope with her diagnosis, she had no time to focus on herself as she dealt with her son’s death. “I don’t remember the first time I was diagnosed because I was sitting shiva (for Michael) and I had to keep going,” she said.

A year later, Barish was diagnosed with breast cancer again and decided to undergo chemotherapy to hopefully rid her body of the disease. The chemotherapy seemed to work until she went for a routine mammogram in 2003. “I knew something was wrong when a radiologist came in,” she said. “After they told me the cancer came back I got in my car and thought I could be the hysterical mother or I could do what I tell other people to do.”

Barish opened the Hewlett House on East Rockaway Road in Hewlett in 2001, to serve as a haven for those struggling with cancer and their families to come and experience the support groups, education and social events. “We try to keep it as upbeat here as we can because cancer is devastating for the patient and their family,” said Barish, who serves as executive director of Hewlett House and presidents of the 1in9: The Long Island Breast Cancer Action Coalition. “While you see pink everywhere throughout October (for Breast Cancer Awareness Month), cancer doesn’t end for us on Oct. 31.”

Those who visit the Hewlett House do so at no cost and are assured that everything remains confidential as those who work and volunteer there respect the HIPAA Privacy Rule that protects a patient’s personal health information, Barish said. “We work on aspects of helping people out and have a system to set them up so they understand what insurance they have, their treatment options and what their rights as patients are,” she said. “We teach people that you are your own individual person and that every case is different so your cancer is yours.”

Barish stresses the importance of routine mammograms and cancer screenings. “There are so many questions we can answer today and we’ve come very far,” she said. “People need to be informed, make choices and get second and third opinions about treatment options. There is so much information out there and if you’re well informed, you can make a decision.”

When asked about the future, Barish believes while she has done a lot to advocate for cancer patients, the final result has yet to be achieved. “There’s a lot that still needs to be done but you can’t do everything you want to do,” she said. “I’ve made a huge mark but I’m not satisfied because a cure hasn’t been found.”