Self-control in the digital age

It’s never been easy to control our impulses and urges. Um, what should I do: a mind-numbing clean-up chore or spend quality time with a friend? Take care of boring paperwork or watch TV?

Is there a choice here? Of course, you know what you want to do, so you fall behind doing the stuff you were going to do.

Now here comes the digital age in which an incredible number of distractions are instantly available to us. We don’t have to call a friend to see if he’s home. We can text all of our friends to see who’s available right now. We don’t have to see if there’s an interesting program on TV; we just go to our DVRs to watch what we’ve recorded.

No question about it, the digital world has made self-control more difficult. Distractions abound. Diversions call. Entertainment beckons. And before you know it, the day has gone and you’re left with this sinking feeling that you’ve accomplished nothing of significance.

If you ever needed an excuse to put things off, the digital age eagerly provides it. Never have there been so many accessible, affordable, appealing, addictive distractions. Count up all the electronic gizmos you own. Realize how easily those gizmos gobble up your time. Notice how many buzzers and beepers beckon you to heed them. Recognize how easy it is to get hooked on social networks, gaming, blogs, YouTube, texting, Instant Messaging, iPods, podcasts, websites, porn sites, chat rooms and the list goes on. Add up the hours you spend on stuff that has nothing to do with your personal or career goals. Now is it any wonder that you’re teetering on the edge of the Boulevard of Broken Dreams?

Though there were plenty of pre-digital ways to fritter away time (zoning out, napping away the afternoon, gazing at junk TV), it’s just sooooo much easier and enjoyable with all the technology that seduces us before we even recognize what’s happening. You’re going to just read your email, just view a recommended YouTube, just post a few photos on Facebook. And before you know it, just a few minutes have become a few hours, and just a few hours have become the

better part of the day.

So what’s a person to do? After all, the digital age is here to stay. Should you give up those enjoyable distractions and become a rigid, clock-driven, no fun-person. Absolutely not! The opposite, however, is also true. It’s not a great idea to be

an unstructured, spur-of-

the-moment, follow-your-impulse person.

You may question, why not? Why can’t I live in the moment doing only what I feel like doing? The short answer: because a funny thing happens when you’re working at a job, involved in a relationship or trying to create a life. People expect you to take care of responsibilities. And when you don’t, when you’re late or when you do a half-assed job, stuff happens. Unpleasant stuff! So what’s the goal? In one word: Balance!

For most people, balance means toning down impulsivity, pumping up rationality; saying “no” to indulging temptations, saying “yes” to tending to goals. Isn’t self-control what parents have always tried to instill in their kids? Well, in today’s world, it’s also time for adults to do that for themselves.

Copyright 2011

Linda Sapadin, Ph.D., is a psychologist and success coach who specializes in helping people enrich their lives, enhance their relationships and overcome self-defeating patterns. Contact her at lsapadin@drsapadin.com or visit her website at www.PsychWisdom.com.

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