When you’re ready

It was for days like this that the word “miserable” had been conceived. Everything was wrong. Nothing felt right. 

Her life was falling apart. She didn’t know what to do. And knew no one who could be helpful to her.

It wasn’t as if she didn’t have friends or family. She did. But they didn’t understand. They couldn’t take away her fear, her confusion, her illness. She was annoyed with her friend’s call. She knew she meant well but she just didn’t want to hear what this friend had to say. “Miss Upbeat” was so annoying. Didn’t the woman ever feel miserable herself?

After listening to her woes, her friend told her to “get out of the house and do something nice for yourself.” Okay, she thought. Not a bad idea. Yet seconds later “Yes but … excuses” were tumbling out of her mouth. “Yes, but it’s too cold; Yes but, I don’t have the energy; Yes, but I wish it were as easy as all that.”

She just wanted everything to be okay. But it wasn’t. Especially today. The freezing cold day came and went without even the courtesy of a fleeting visit from the sun. Who wants to go out on a day like that?

 So she didn’t. She just luxuriated in her misery for two more days.

 Then something began stirring inside of her. It’s as though she was tired of feeling despondent. She dialed her hairdresser. Yes, she could take her today. Good, she thought. I may as well look better than I feel.

 Once out of the house, she breathed in the cold air. Strange. There was actually something refreshing about it. Yes, she was sick of this wretched winter. She hated bundling up. But, lucky her. She had those seats in the car that keep your bottom warm. And that felt good. She tuned the radio in to her favorite music station. And that felt good.

 Emotional dips come with the challenges of life. Can you escape them? I doubt it. Can you do anything about them? Perhaps — when you’re ready.

 The most valuable advice can feel dead wrong when you’re not ready to hear it. The most spot-on suggestion can feel futile when you believe you have no control over your life. When it seems like nothing can be done to make anything right, everything feels wrong.

 And then one day, almost imperceptibly, the tide begins to turn. You’re tired of griping, sick of feeling sorry for yourself, bored with looking at the four walls.  No way do you have the energy to take on the world. But maybe, just maybe, you have enough energy to do something to make you feel better.

 You e-mail a friend. You read an uplifting article.  You hear a child’s laughter. You lick a chocolate cupcake. You smell the aroma of a rich cup of coffee.  And somehow you know you’ve turned a corner.

 Tomorrow will be a better day. You think. You hope. You believe.

©2011 Linda Sapadin, Ph.D. 

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