Letter to the Editor: Remembering Steven McDonald

To the Editor:

I was saddened to hear of the passing of Steven McDonald. I won’t spend time telling you how special he was, what an outstanding individual he was, and how he had the most amazing heart and was never afraid to use it. Everyone knows that. I would like to share a personal experience that I had with Steven. First let me say, that my husband Stephen and I were lucky enough to know Steven and his wife, Patti. My husband was a village trustee in Lynbrook, Patti’s father a village trustee in Malverne at the same time.

On Mar. 12, 2002, the parish of Our Lady of Peace suffered a terrible tragedy. Our pastor, Father Larry Penzes was shot and killed during mass along with an elderly parishioner Eileen Tosner. It was truly a nightmare for all of us. Both my husband and I had been members of OLP since we were young children, went to school there, as did our children, received all of our sacraments there and were married there 45 years ago this coming July. For me, all of my memories of that church had been happy, filling my heart with great pleasure. Now on this winter day in March, that was shattered. How could this have happened? I asked myself that question for many of the months that followed.

Then one day I saw Patti outside of Malverne Bakery. We talked for a while and Patti told me how busy Steven was with all the speaking he was doing. He was spreading the word of the importance of forgiveness. During the conversation, Patti and I tossed around the idea that maybe we, the parishioners of OLP, needed to hear him talk. We were hurting badly, trying hard to go on with our daily lives, but for me, this dark cloud was hanging over my head. I told Patti I was going to speak at Pastoral Council, which I was a member of, and test the waters to see if there was an interest. And at the next meeting I did just that. Our new pastor, Father William Breslawski, or Father Bill as he is affectionately known as, was very supportive of the idea, so we went ahead and set a date.

The Sunday before he was to speak, the gospel was just coincidently from Mark and spoke of the paraplegic not being able to get close to Jesus, so they had to make a hole in the roof. I took that as a sign from God that we were doing the right thing by having Steven come. You see, we had to construct a ramp for Steven to get up on the altar to speak, just as in the gospel they had to construct a hole in the roof for the paraplegic. It was almost a year since Father Larry had been killed.

Steven came and spoke to our parish. It was a good turnout. For me, it was an amazing experience. The church had always been a very safe place for me always. Now I was finding myself jumping at every sound I heard, turning my head looking around all the time. My church world had been rocked and I had been thinking it would never be the same. Steven started to talk, told the amazing story of how he came to forgive the young man who shot him and forever changed his life. He penetrated my heart and soul. As I looked at him on our altar, that altar which had become a symbol of so much sadness for me, as he spoke, a rainbow appeared over his head. No kidding, a beautiful light was shining on the altar as well. And then, something happened to me, the most incredible peace came over me. I was no longer filled with fear, or scared or feeling any of those other emotions I had been feeling since Father Larry had been killed. It was like someone stuck me with a needle and pulled out all the hate, fear and anger that had taken up residence within my heart. When I hugged him afterward, and told him what I had experienced when he talked, he just looked up at me and said something like, “That’s God working”. Yes he was correct, that was God working and as the years went by and I would hear what Steven was up to, I knew that God had Steven around for a reason. Although he was a New York City Detective, he was working for and answered to a much higher authority, God. He was spreading God’s love everywhere he went, teaching us by his example of what God wants all of us to do: To love, to have compassion and to forgive.

A priest once told me three things about forgiveness. First, don’t forgive too quickly. Second, when you forgive, you forgive every day, and third, just because you forgive your enemy, does not mean he is not your enemy. I cannot help but smile at the image of Steven arriving at the gates of heaven, and our Lord reaching out, taking him into his arms and saying, “Well done Steven, my good and faithful servant.” Rest in peace Steven, you will be missed.

Jane M. Grogan

Lynbrook, New York