Learning love, not anger

The Friedberg JCC in Oceanside will be hosting a special parenting event on Oct. 12 to teach parents how having a positive relationship with each other can strengthen their relationships with their children.

Author, attorney, couples mediator and television commentator Laurie Puhn, who wrote the upcoming book “Fight Less, Love More: 5 Minute Conversations to Change Your Relationship without Blowing-up or Giving-In,” will be at the JCC hosting the event. Additionally, those who attend the event will receive a free copy of the book.

“The JCC has a great reputation for bringing in parents and creating family events, and they also have great relationships with Parenting Resource Network, which is fully behind the idea of bringing parenting skills to parents, and Long Island Parent Magazine is also excited about it,” said Puhn. “So we brought together three groups who all want to bring something new and exciting to parents, who are the role models for their children.”

Puhn will be discussing her new book, which offers advice for couples on how to strengthen their relationships through communication and make them more healthy, and apply those lessons to parenting.

“The point is that parents are role models,” Puhn said. “And a lot of research shows that when there is high conflict in the house, it’s very bad for children. They end up having academic problems, drug problems, sexual promiscuity — a lot of these things develop when the home is a really unpleasant place to be and when children can’t feel open with their parents.”

At the talk, Puhn will be discussing many of the topics and methods that are in her book. Things like making sure you thank your spouse for the little things, like bringing home pizza. By not doing something as simple as that, it can send a negative message to children, Puhn said. “So it means that if something is expected, you don’t have to show appreciation,” she said. “So then a parent shouldn’t complain when their child never thanks them. So really, it’s contagious. Supportive, kind language is contagious just as well as being indifferent and rude is contagious.”