Middle school tackles self-esteem issues

The Glen Cove Middle School has initiated a groundbreaking empowerment program called “Beautiful Me” to address the growing challenges faced by its female students. The program, created by Warren and Jackie Hance of Floral Park, was created after their three daughters Emma, Alyson and Katie were killed in a wrong-way crash on the Taconic Parkway in 2006. The program’s goal is to empower women of all ages in recognizing their innate beauty, building healthy relationships, and improving self-esteem.
The initiative comes in response to a noticeable uptick in issues affecting female students at Finley Middle School, Nelson Iocolano said during a Board of Education presentation on April 15, attributing the increase to a variety of factors, including isolation from state lockdowns from the coronavirus pandemic and concerns about self-esteem.
“It’s not just a program for girls who are having disciplinary issues or difficulty with their peers,” Iocolano said. “It’s really about empowerment and getting our young ladies to recognize the beauty that is within them.
In the 2022-2023 school year, 26 percent of suspensions involved girls, while 48 percent involved boys. During the following school year, the percentage of suspensions involving girls rose to 74 percent, while the percentage involving boys decreased to 52 percent.
Josephine Santagata, the school social worker, explained that 25 women in the middle school volunteered to become certified Beautiful Me facilitators. As part of their training process, they immersed themselves in the workshop experience by trading places with the students for a day. They participated in sessions led by Karla Mauer from the Hans Family Foundation on March 14 and March 21.

“What I found through the training process was this collective understanding that there was a greater need within our building to help empower our young girls, but we also found something within adults, as female staff,” Santagata said. “There were also things that we were struggling with internally, that we also needed the opportunity to come together as a building and identify things that we’re struggling with and what we can do together to create better change within our building for our young ladies.”
The workshop saw participation from approximately 100 eighth and seventh-grade girls in separate sessions held on April 5 and April 15. The final session with sixth graders is scheduled for May 6.
One module focuses on self-care and the creation of self-generated rules for health and body. Girls were asked to introduce themselves with affirmations of beauty, such as “Hi, my name is Josephine, and I’m beautiful.” This exercise proved to be awkward and uncomfortable for students, with some hesitating or skipping their turn. Recognizing this discomfort, Santagata questioned why it was so challenging to acknowledge their own beauty.
“One of the more alarming answers that I received from the group was ‘it’s because I actually don’t believe it myself,’ which is why it was so complicated for them to sit there and say, Hi, my name is Josephine, and I’m beautiful,” Santagata said. “I could relate to them on that level. When I sat down in the training with my colleagues, it was also very uncomfortable, and very awkward.”
Another module focused on giving and receiving compliments. Instead of deflecting compliments or feeling obligated to give one in return, students learned to accept compliments graciously. Each participant wrote compliments for every group member, which are collected in heart-shaped boxes.
“The whole idea of this is that the girls now have something concrete,” Santagata said. “When they’re not too confident about themselves, they have this cardboard heart shaped box to read the compliments that these other young ladies had to say about them.”
Maria Rianna, district superintendent, said she knew how vital the program was for youth and their self-esteem.
“I know that it is a very difficult age in the continuum of development,” Rianna, said. “I have always believed students need to make connections with one another and see their similarities, not just their differences, and have that strong confidence in themselves in a very positive way.”