Good kids can make bad decisions

  “It’s not enough to have kids go into your basement; you need to go into the basement too, and look behind the couch!”  

“I was burned by my daughter when I found evidence of destructive behavior in her room.”   

“More and more middle school kids are sexting…..sending nude photos of themselves into cyber space.”  

“We’re seeing more middle school kids dating high school

students.”  

“As parents should we be looking at our kids’ Facebook accounts?” 

“If your kid has a pattern of quickly heading for the shower before even greeting you when he or she comes home, there’s a strong possibility they may be trying to rid themselves of the aroma

of pot.”

“At Halloween, parents were walking with toddlers and small children drinking from red cups filled with alcohol.”  

“Nothing good happens at ‘The Bridge’ [over Peninsula Boulevard]. I have lived in Rockville Centre all my life, and nothing has ever been done about ‘The Bridge!’

“I work at the middle school, and just when I think I know everything, my own kids surprise me.”

These were just some of the comments parents and school staff made at an eye opening presentation last month at South Side Middle School. A program called “Risky Business” was presented by Jamie Bogenschutz, executive director of the YES Counseling Center in Massapequa. It was a wake up call to many in the audience. The anonymity of cell phones, iPhones, social networking sites, texting and other small hand held computer devices has added a frightening new dimension to raising teenagers today.

A short film about the loss of innocence with 13-year-old girls talking about experimenting with sex was sad and uncomfortable to watch. The language and descriptions of their activities made everyone present squirm in their seats.The girls in the film tried to rationalize their behavior. They did it because they wanted “the boy to like them.” They feared “losing the boy.” All felt regret. With tears in her eyes, one of the girls said, “I’m no longer the innocent little girl with pig tails eating ice cream.” 

  Two main reactions to the film from the audience were,”Where were their parents?” and “What about the boys’ perspective?” Regarding parental supervision, the answers were unanimous: It’s key to protecting your children.  

Regarding the boys’ perspective, although it was missing from the film, comments included, “Boys don’t bring these girls home…. they just want to use them.” 

In response to parents wanting to see a film about the boys’ perspective, the middle school is looking into presenting a recent “Oprah” segment. In addition, it plans to present a program about the dangers of sexting to its students later this spring.

Bogenshutz did her best to keep the audience encouraged, even after a parent reached the sobering realization that even good kids can make bad choices.  She repeated that communication is key. Her advice for raising pre-teens and teenagers: Be a parent, not a friend. There will be plenty of time later to be a friend — when they reach their 20s.