A nut job’s guide to insulating your attic

So there I was, shimmying into a corner of my attic to stuff insulation into a narrow crevice that hadn’t seen the light of day in 60 years.

It was February. I had wrapped myself in a white protective suit and rubber gloves and covered my face with clear plastic glasses and a respirator. I was sweating profusely and breathing laboriously.

I’d been insulating my attic for more than two hours. I had at least another day or two to go before I finished the project. I lay there for a moment on a plywood raft that prevented me from falling between the joists below me and crashing into my bedroom. I was exhausted and parched, and my knees and shoulders ached.

What have I gotten myself into? I thought. I must have been insane to take on this project.

The story of how I got to this point of desperation began nearly a year before, with a home energy audit conducted by an insulation company recommended by the Long Island Power Authority.

My wife and I bought our Merrick home nearly nine years ago. Ever since, we’ve been working to repair and upgrade it. The previous owners had had the house for 50 years, but they hadn’t lived in it year-round for more than two decades. So it needed a lot of work –– far more than our house inspector pointed out.

We finished revamp work on the interior last year and figured we could –– and should –– move on to insulating the house better. We had insulated the crawl space and family room, but the attic beckoned.

We started with a home-energy audit. The company conducting the audit, which we found on LIPA’s website and which will remain nameless, was a joke. A friendly-enough fellow arrived at our door last spring with an array of computers and electronic equipment. He spent three hours poking, prodding and blowing air through our home with an ultra-high-speed fan that attached to the front door.

In the end, he recommended nearly $9,000 of insulation work in the attic and other parts of the house. We told him we’d think about it, knowing that we had no plans to spend $9,000 on insulation.