A life filled with adventure, love of community and kindness ends

Pat Parmelee impacted so many lives by just being herself. The Glen Cover, who died Sept. 28 at age 90, was known as thoughtful, kind, adventurous and funny.
When introducing herself, “Parm,” as she was affectionately called, would say, “I’m Pat Parmelee from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, whose father was a patent attorney” — and then, with a mischievous gleam in her eye, she would add, “and that’s a whole lot of P’s.”
A former educator and assistant principal at Locust Valley’s Friends Academy from 1957 to 1997, Parmelee had a passion for living life to the fullest, which she shared with everyone she encountered, according to Linda Thompson, her partner for 47 years. Her loss is being felt by many.
“Pat was beautiful, loving and smart,” said Teri Swenson, membership chairwoman of the Woman’s Club of Glen Cove. Parmelee was the ways and means chairwoman for the club until recently. “I never heard a bad word out of her mouth about anyone, and never heard a bad word about her from anyone,” Swenson added. “She is missed, and will be in our hearts forever.”
Although she retired from Friends Academy 25 years ago, Parmelee made an impact. The Locust Valley school is working on a book filled with memories of Parmelee from students and faculty.

“Pat was one of the best teachers I ever had as a colleague. I was fortunate to have her teach both of my children,” said Marty Jacobson, the school’s former athletic director. “She was a dedicated, hard worker who always had time to listen and help anyone who needed it. I can’t ever think of Pat without smiling.”
Thompson said she has received over 100 sympathy cards from across the country.
“One woman, who worked with her at Friends, wrote that, ‘Pat was so incredible. I thought she’d live forever. She was one of a kind, so kind, thoughtful and an inspiration,’” Thompson said.
Parmelee died in her sleep, after not feeling well a few days before her death. People were surprised to hear of her death, which hit some very hard.
“When Guy Minutoli (of Dodge Thomas Funeral Home) came by to pick up Pat’s body, he was very upset,” Thompson said. “Pat had been his third-grade teacher and all of his children had her too.”
Parmelee was Betsy Eklof’s middle school field hockey coach in 1958 at Friends. And when she was a sophomore, the former Jericho resident went on a school trip to the Virgin Islands with her biology teacher and Parmelee. They roughed it during the trip, foraging for food and sleeping on the beach. Eklof said Parmelee was “fun,” and they immediately became friends.
While attending the University of Colorado at Boulder as an undergraduate, Eklof’s path crossed Parmelee’s again. Parmelee was there pursuing her master’s degree, taking a leave of absence from Friends. She invited Eklof to join her in an adventure she had planned with four friends.
“During the three-week trip, we went skiing and rock climbing and went down the Escalante River through the canyon area to Lake Powell. It was a year before Lake Powell filled in,” Eklof recalled. “We rappelled into the canyon and hiked there for three weeks. The biggest danger was flash flooding, but there were scorpions and rattlesnakes too. Parm was a delight to be with no matter where we were.”
Parmelee lived in an apartment in Sea Cliff before moving to Glen Cove. Then she and Thompson rented and eventually bought a house in Glen Cove’s Morgan Park Estates, where they lived for the past 30 years.
Thompson has many fond memories of Parmelee, and especially of how they met. Thompson, originally from Omaha, Nebraska, had worked for Avis Car Rental. She had been living in Denver, but Avis had an office in Carle Place which she visited periodically. She’d stay a week at a time, which was at times lonely. One of her friends said she knew of someone on Long Island whom Thompson should meet — Parmelee.
“We went to dinner and then we went to Sea Cliff Beach and talked there until 3 in the morning,” Thompson said. “I’d come back and forth to see Pat, and the next year I got transferred to the Carle Place office.”
During their relationship they enjoyed cross-country skiing, downhill skiing in the Alps and traveling the world.
“Pat was an adventurous person,” Thompson said, “but what I miss most about her is her laughter. We loved to joke around and had a lot of fun.”
After Parmelee retired in 1997, she became very involved in the Glen Cove community. She embraced the Glen Cove Senior Center by being more than a member, volunteering as secretary of the Senior Activity Generational Endowment Foundation, a nonprofit that provides funding exclusively for the center.
Carla Hall D’Ambra, the vice president of SAGE, described Parmelee as thoughtful with a big heart. She participated as a member of the center, so she could tell the board about the programs.
“She inspired us to continue to raise funds for the programs,” D’Ambra said. “She always had lovely things to say about everyone.”
Carol Waldman, the former director of the senior center, said Parmelee was always special. She’d attend an event and enjoy it with the other seniors, but went the extra mile always sending a note of appreciation the next day. Waldman said their relationship went from that of being director and member to friends.
“She was always delightful to be around,” Waldman said. “She was always very kind and very fair. Pat saw things from all sides and gave people the benefit of the doubt. She always knew how to make everyone smile.”
Parmelee was attending the adult day care program at the end of her life. She was becoming forgetful, Thompson said, but she was always the smartest person in the room. She was popular, making many friends and Thompson said Parmelee looked forward to going each day.
“Pat never lost her thirst for knowledge, love of music, keen sense of humor, passion for the arts and love of people — all people,” Melanie Raymundo, the program coordinator of the adult day care program wrote in the center’s newsletter. “Wherever Pat was, there was laughter, singing and vibrant conversation.”
Thompson said when she worked in Avis’s information technology department she often traveled, sometimes away for a week. Parmelee was alone and liked it. “Then she started to travel more, and I traveled less,” Thompson said.“I had the house to myself and enjoyed it. But now, it’s very lonely here.”