Tough love can save lives

The July 26 deadly crash on the Taconic State Parkway, authorities say, was no accident: Toxicology reports indicated that Diane Schuler, who was driving the wrong way, was drunk and high. On a sunny afternoon, not in the wee hours, when we’re all on guard, she ended her own life, the lives of four children -- one of her own and three of her brother’s -- three adults in another car, and the happiness of so many others.

Schuler’s husband disputed the coroner’s findings, saying his wife was no problem drinker, and that the crash must be attributable to some medical condition. He dismissed the 0.19 blood alcohol content and the evidence of marijuana use in her blood as either false findings or a tragic self-treatment for low blood sugar.

Addiction vanquishes all other claims on a person’s attention, priorities and responsibilities. A mother’s duty, a driver’s responsibility, an adult’s obligation to care for the defenseless and the dependent -- nothing is more important than satisfying that overwhelming need for another drink or toke.

If the coroner’s report is correct, Schuler may have been just the latest in an enraging series of people who let their addiction rule their lives and ruin or end others’ lives. Her fate now rests with a higher power. Martin Heidgen, the Valley Stream man who drunkenly drove the wrong way on the Meadowbrook Parkway two years ago and killed 7-year-old Katie Flynn and 59-year-old Stanley Rabinowitz, and severely injured member of the Flynn and Tangney families of Long Beach, is another example of someone hell-bent on satisfying their own needs without thought of others.

Rahiem Griffin of Shirley was sentenced to seven years in jail last month for DWI in a 2008 crash that critically injured a police officer, Kenneth Baribault, who was in the process of investigating another drunk driver on the side of the LIE. Meghan Wood, 24, pleaded guilty last month to drunk driving and vehicular manslaughter in connection with a crash in June 2008 that killed her best friend. The list of even our recent local alcohol-related murders and mayhem could go on for pages.

Since Jan. 1, 2008, 5,389 people have been arrested for DWI in Nassau County, according to the county Police Department’s Public Information Office. It’s only a matter of luck and proactive police work that these arrests came before other horrors occurred. In the reasonable belief that only a tiny percentage of people who drive drunk or stoned are stopped and arrested, it’s scary to think how many impaired but unimpeded drivers are on the roads at any given moment.

The abuse of alcohol, whether by addiction or choice, is rarely a spontaneous development, suddenly springing into a person’s life out of nowhere. Alcoholism and binge drinking start silently at some moment, and continue, insidiously increasing in intensity, frequency and consequence. Friends, relatives, good neighbors, bosses, co-workers, physicians and clergy must have some inkling of these people’s problems with alcohol or drugs.

But too often, these loved ones and professionals choose not to see, not to intrude or intervene. They mind their own business. They pass the crash waiting to happen and move on, denying the problem, turning away from a scene clearly sketched but as yet not fully drawn.

It is absolutely true that it is the alcohol and drug abusers themselves who are at fault when they drive impaired. No doubt. But we all can try to be our brothers’ and sisters’ keepers. We can be true friends of those we know have drinking or drug problems and try our best to offer help.

Most addicts deny there’s a problem, and it takes court or police action, or the intervention of friends or family, to open their eyes and help them get started on recovery. Some are aware that know they have a serious problem, but don’t know they can be helped or how to get that help.

That’s where loved ones come in -- and not for that person’s sake alone. Who knows how many other lives you can rescue, how many hearts you can save from breaking, by taking bold steps to help an addict now.

That's what friends are for.

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Where to get help

Nassau County Department of Drug and Alcohol Addiction and Long Island Crisis Center

24-hour hotline: (516) 481-4000

Nassau Intergroup of AA

24 hour hotline: (516) 292-3040

At www.nassauny-aa.org, click on your community for a meeting near you

Families Anonymous (for families of drug and alcohol abusers)

(516) 221-0303