Learning to live after a spouse’s death

When North Woodmere resident and children’s book author, Dorothy Seiden’s husband Stan passed away in 1998, after 46 years of marriage, she decided to write, Love Lives On, a book to help those dealing with the loss of a spouse get through the difficult time.

“There are a lot of things a person who has actually gone through this comes in contact with and I thought these little hints may help somebody,” Seiden said.

There are 23 chapters that touch upon everything from asking for help, emergencies and cooking for one. The book also begins with a poem written by Seiden that starts with, “Why did you have to leave me? Why did you have to go? It’s hard to be without you, because I love you so.”

Seiden said her book is unique because it is written by someone who has experienced the loss of a spouse and includes the everyday living situations people don’t often think about. “The first six months were very difficult for me,” she said. “There’s no one there to remind you of things like taking a pill and speaking to someone on their level, who has experienced what they’re going through, will help them.”

Rutledge Books originally published Love Lives On under the name, Always in My Heart, in 2002 but when the publishing company when out of business they gave Seiden all the rights to her book. Then in 2011, she decided to re-publish the book through PublishAmerica, a publishing company based out of Fredrick, Md.

Shawn Street of PublishAmerica said the company has always taken great pride in giving authors a chance. “We are especially drawn to books with strong characters that overcome trials and great tribulation, whether they are fictional or non-fiction,” he said. “Overcoming the death of a spouse is among the greatest challenges a human being can face and we believe her words of wisdom and guidance can help those who are suffering.”

Before going to work at Chase Manhattan Bank as the editor of the company’s newsletter when her children were grown, Seiden was a stay-at-home mother and took care of appointments, cooking, cleaning and financial matters for the family. Fortunately, her past experiences handling home and financial matters came in handy when her husband passed away. “My husband’s job was demanding so I felt if I could take care of things at home, I would,” she said. “Being in the business world, you come in contact with things people who don’t work wouldn’t.”

She encourages those who have lost a spouse to remember the great times they had with that person. “There is nothing wrong with remembering and being a better person because of being exposed to that kind of experience and that person,” she said, “but you can’t live in the past, you have to live in the present.”