On mending a broken heart

Longtime Freeport resident June Owen recently authored her first book, “How to Get Over a Broken Heart.”

Owen, 71, who has been a psychologist for 30 years, did not always know that psychology would prove to be her career path.

Initially, she pursued a career in music, with dreams of becoming a concert pianist, and subsequently she received her undergraduate degree in music from Hofstra University.

In the following years, she taught piano lessons, which is where Owen discovered her affinity for one-on-one interactions.

While music still remains her first love, certain practical realities — like the difficulty making a living as a musician — led her to search in other directions for her vocation, eventually, she settled on psychology.

She subsequently earned her Masters degree in psychology from New York University, and her doctorate in clinical psychology from Yeshiva University.

“I like to listen to people, hear people’s stories,” Owen, who has lived in Freeport for 27 years and operates her psychology clinic there, said. “I’m always interested in what makes people tick.”

As a psychologist, Owen treats individuals with issues ranging from anxiety, depression, trauma and loss, specializing in working with seniors and people with disabilities.

Drawing from her background, Owen’s therapeutic approach is deeply humanistic, emphasizing empathy, understanding and the power of self-awareness.

“My main goal is to try and understand the person,” she said. “I just want to

understand them and for them to feel understood… I think that’s one of the most healing things, that a person feels understood.”

The genesis of “How to Get Over a Broken Heart,” which came out on Jan. 22 and took Owen 20 years of on and off work, stemmed from a personal experience of heartbreak.

In her early 50s, with the desire to start a family, Owen met someone who would become important to her. However, the relationship didn’t work out, which left her feeling devastated, she said.

“For me, that relationship was the death of hope,” she revealed. “I didn’t just lose the person, I lost the dream of having a family.”

After the break-up, she tried to distract herself from the tremendous well of pain, calling friends and those close to her on the phone.

One day, when Owen was about to call another person to cast aside her hurt feelings, she instead decided to face her heartache head-on.

“I reached inside my feelings, and then I felt compassion for myself, and love, for my own self,” she said.

That marked the first time that she felt good after her break-up.

Owen’s book is divided into three parts: dealing with the pain of a broken heart, understanding dysfunctional relationship patterns, and “how we heal.”

Rejecting the notion of “getting over” a broken heart, she advocates for a more holistic approach to healing that involves embracing all aspects of one’s emotional landscape.

“I tell people it’s not a cold you get over, it’s healing,” Owen said. “We westerners tend to think in terms of eradicating something, where really the thought is healing.”

She added that the process is slow, “embracing all your feelings, allowing yourself to feel whatever you need to see the field.”

Owen, who has been legally blind since the age of 28 due to a genetic disease, recommended staying true to oneself, paying attention to red flags in relationships and maintaining individuality within partnerships.

“A relationship shouldn’t be a ton of work,” she asserted. “If it feels forced or requires constant adjustment, it may not be the right fit.”

In addressing modern debates on relationship dynamics, Owen adopts an inclusive stance, emphasizing the importance of authenticity and self-discovery in determining what works best for each individual.

After the end of the relationship that spurred Owen to write the book, she decided to redirect, and approach the journey of having a family on her own.

After trying and persevering despite a number of obstacles for years, she eventually succeeded in adopting a daughter, Laurel, who is now 18.

On whether she gives her daughter relationship advice, Owen said, “I try not push my way on her, but if she asks, I’ll tell her what I think.”

Owen said she feels that healing a broken heart is not about rejecting pain but embracing it as part of the journey towards wholeness—a journey that she continues to navigate with grace and power.

Her book is available on Amazon/Barnes and Noble for $9.99 and on Kindle for $9.49.