Thursday, October 1, 2026
My husband, Donnie Kreiss, died on July 12, at home, just days after our 58th anniversary. He was 80, and had been living with pancreatic cancer since it was diagnosed in 2023.
Donnie did not go gently. As Dylan Thomas wrote, he raged against the dying of the light, from the moment he knew he had this relentless cancer until two Sundays ago, when he drew a quiet breath and then no more. Our son and daughter were with him. My sister, Meryl Greenbaum, was with us. The loving good wishes of everyone he knew were with us.
He had been drifting away for the previous 10 days, suffering the side effects of three years of treatment. Still, in early June he was walking laps in our building, and in April the family had gathered for his birthday dinner. He pushed his athlete’s body beyond anyone’s expectation, and the night he died, we rang the bell for him, because every single day he lived since 2023 was a tribute to his courage.
Donnie never felt sorry for himself. In his last days on earth he was reaching out to friends who had heartache, relationship woes, business setbacks or medical problems. He preached a gospel of positivity, insisting on finding threads of hope. He left a legacy of goodness and generosity, changing the lives of so many people along the way.
Donnie was a native Lawrencian. He was born in 1946 at Brooklyn Jewish Hospital to Lillian and Jack Kreiss, who lived at 16 Muriel Ave. in Lawrence. When he was 2, he contracted bacterial meningitis, which was usually fatal in those days. He was in isolation at St Joseph’s Hospital, in Far Rockaway, for two months. That was the first of his medical miracle recoveries, which included a fractured skull when he was 10, heart attacks at 40 and 50, bypass surgery, congestive heart failure and cervical spine surgery. He recited his near-misses enthusiastically, as if they were a resume, not of suffering but of triumph over adversity.
Donnie was a gifted athlete who ran track and played varsity football, basketball and golf. He was a beautiful man, and we fell hard in love as teenagers. We graduated together in 1964 from Lawrence High. When we married and settled in Woodmere, his second home was the Lawrence Golf Club, where his father was president and then, 50 years later, he was president. In recent years his home course was on Longboat Key, Fla., where last year he was named Most Inspirational Golfer of the Year, an award they created for him.
Don started his own business in 1969, selling slippers and bras and panties. He loved selling, and he was the best salesman because he could out-wait, out-talk and outlast any buyer he encountered.
He always found the best in others because, truly, that was all he saw. He drew on a deep well of generosity and kindness.
Our children, Jason, Rochelle, Jocelyn and Josh, were, as Auden said, his north, south, east and west. His grandchildren, Sabrina, Jacob, Elijah and Emi, brought light and delight into his life. “Did you talk to the kids today?” was his mantra.
Despite his lifelong medical issues, Don was a rough and ready traveler, up for any adventure. We spent five summers exploring Montana when the kids were teenagers, and then for decades we traveled the world, from Komodo Island, in Indonesia, to the Alaska wilderness, from Bali to Singapore to Tasmania and New Zealand. Nothing stopped him.
Obituaries are the last public words written about someone. I never expected to write Donnie’s obituary, which I hope is more like telling the story of his life. Which is also the story of my life. As Cummings wrote, I carry his heart in my heart.
He trusted me to shepherd him through these last years, to get to the right doctors, to hold hands as we heard the diagnoses that limited his days. He wanted time, he said over and over again. I did my best, but time was not in my hands. I believe he would have wanted me to write this, the last words about him, from a place of love and longing, happy remembrance, and sadness that he did not have more days to grace our lives.
Copyright 2026 Randi Kreiss. Randi can be reached at randik3@aol.com.
