Randi Kreiss

Minx or madman: the George Santos story


Don’t mess with puppies, George. From what I’ve read and what I’ve heard in statements coming out of your very own mouth, you seem estranged from most commonly held beliefs of what is true and what is false, what is a factual statement and what is a lie. What happened and what didn’t happen.
Assiduously, I have ignored the media high jinks and political circus surrounding your behavior, but last week’s revelation of the alleged puppy caper in Pennsylvania’s Amish country in 2017 unleashes my inner Cujo. Oh yes, the temptation to joke is overwhelming due to the ridiculousness of many of your quasi-legal escapades and the seemingly endless stream of revelations concerning your grandiose claims, self-promotion and transgressions.
Last week we read in The Washington Post that a farmer in Pennsylvania had come forward with a story about you “buying” golden retriever puppies from him with rubber checks. Other farmers have come forward with similar claims. Related to these charges is the story about the “charity” you claim to have established, Friends of Pets United, but the Post reported that no IRS records of the group could be found. It also reported that you stole money that had been raised to help a disabled veteran care for a dying dog. A disabled veteran?? A dying dog?? What’s wrong with you, George?
I am very disappointed in you. If I were your mother — but oh, wait, your mother died tragically in the 9/11 attacks, unless she didn’t. Can’t be sure. Well, if I were your mother, I would get you some help. The impulse among us in the media is to point at you, since you have become something of a one-man sideshow. But dude, you need serious therapeutic intervention.
What we can be sure of is that you aren’t Jewish, or Jew-ish, despite your repeated claims to the contrary. According to The Forward, even though you said that your grandparents escaped the Holocaust, they actually were safe and sound in Brazil at the time. There’s no proof you were really mugged on your way to pay a delinquent rent check in New York City, or worked for a bank, or owned various houses, or knew people in the Pulse nightclub shooting, or graduated from NYU or played high-stakes volleyball.

Some say your name isn’t even George Santos. Pinning down the truth as torrents of lies pour from your mouth is like pinning down Jell-O. You are inventive and indefatigable in your stream of wishful thinking out loud, Walter Mitty on a bad trip.
Mostly this is terribly sad. You need help, but you won’t find it in Congress or any public office, for now. Why not step down and save yourself further humiliation?
You can’t expect assistance from your mates in Congress, George. As long as you have a pulse and can vote the party line, they will let the public evisceration continue. You won’t find solace in Congress or real collegiality or decency. You are a GOP vote. Full stop.
Readers, from my perch in the press, the buffoonery of George Santos and his enablers fits perfectly into this time and space. Congress and the Senate have always had their share of nudniks, but Santos is part of a wave of new-age liars. The toxic lies spewing from people like Marjorie Taylor Green, Rick Scott, Mike Lee, Lauren Boebert and Ron Johnson are poisoning the processes of government. They are all using Santos in what has become a spectacle and a shame.
Last, a shout-out to our neighbors in the 3rd Congressional District, the people of Mineola, Great Neck, North Hills, Port Washington and Oyster Bay. Assuming all of you are literate and somewhat paying attention, how did George Santos sweep by you and right into office? Was holding a Republican seat really a wise trade-off for allowing a candidate with not even a passing appreciation for the truth represent your interests in the People’s House?
As we approach the birthday of another George, the George of American history, who could not tell a lie, I wonder what the people of that era would do with someone like Mr. Santos? Hopefully summon some empathy and not put him on public display. During the reign of another George, King George I of England, someone like our George might have officially played the part of the fool.
Now we don’t quite know what to do with him.

Copyright 2023 Randi Kreiss. Randi can be reached at randik3@aol.com.