Some proclaim it proudly, intimating that they have special last minute 'rush to the rescue' capabilities that other people aren't capable of. Others utter it more sheepishly. They realize that any skill they have in coping with an emergency is not so much a special ability as a necessary evil generated by creating the crisis in the first place.
The problem for both kinds of crisis-maker procrastinators - the proud and the sheepish - is that the pattern they've developed for themselves doesn't work in the long run. No matter how well they justify the way they function, the disheartening truth is that they're addicted to the adrenaline rush of doing things at the latest possible moment. Until they feel that rush, they have difficulty motivating themselves and find it hard to resist the seduction of more engaging alternatives.
Crisis-makers' lives frequently feel like a roller-coaster ride: First, they sit back and allow things to escalate, then they're suddenly jerked into stimulating highs of adventure, only to fall afterward into the lows of boredom. They tell themselves they can't control this pattern, and, indeed, as time goes on, that may become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Why do crisis-makers set up, then wait for the crisis? The short answer: because they give their feelings utmost importance. If they don't feel like doing something, they won't. If they feel a task is boring, they don't reflect on why it still may be a good idea to do it. Two modes of being: passive or caught up in a frenzy. That's the crisis-makers' modus operandi.
If you live through the prism of a crisis-maker, here are some suggestions for you:
Find other reasons to do a task, rather than allowing last-minute stress to be your major motivator.
Rely more on positive passions to get your energy going, less on crisis making stress. To do this, develop a wider variety of potential motivators. Here are possibilities to consider:
· Will doing this task enhance my physical, emotional, mental, or financial well-being?
· Will doing this task improve my relationship with others?
· Will being more of a self-starter make me feel better about myself?
· Will doing this task help me further my own short-term and/or long-range goals?
Recognize that you may need time to get into a task BEFORE it intrigues you.
As a crisis-maker, you may be quick to assume that a task isn't worth doing if it fails to excite you right away. You may think that an activity has to lure you into action, and forget that you should be the one at the helm. Hence, you may let fleeting moods, distractions, seductions and, ultimately, emergencies decide your day.
Let this passive approach go. Instead, coach yourself into adopting a more active and upbeat frame of reference. Rather than telling yourself, "A project has to interest me before I can get involved," re-order the sentence by saying, "I have to get involved in a project before it can interest me."
When deciding what needs to be done, focus at least as much on the facts as you do on your feelings.
Crisis-makers put more emphasis on how they feel with less emphasis on what they know. Feelings are important. But so are thoughts. You will be more effective with a better balance. Shift your focus away from resistance (a passive point of view). Focus on taking control of the action, despite your feelings (an active point of view).
Stimulate your thinking by asking yourself these questions:
· What part of the project could I begin now, whether or not I feel like it? (perhaps you could start with the most interesting or easiest part)
· What negative consequences are likely to happen if I don't take action now?
· How will putting off the action affect how I feel about myself in the future?
As you reflect on these questions, you'll expand your ability to tolerate frustration (an essential life skill) and make wiser choices. Lots of activities are worthy of your creativity and energy. Don't just aim for surviving the storm created by self-defeating patterns of behavior.
Copyright 2009
Linda Sapadin, Ph.D. is a psychologist and personal coach in private practice who specializes in helping people enrich their lives, enhance their relationships and overcome self-defeating patterns of behavior. For more information about her work, contact her at lsapadin@drsapadin.com or visit her website at http://www.psychwisdom.com/.
