By Jennifer Marino
This Mother's Day, Elethia's children are taking her out to dinner, but she won't let the nine grandchildren who live with her to be left out, so she'll pay their way.
More than six years ago Elethia, 55, got custody of seven of her grandchildren, all the children of one of her daughters, who is currently in a drug rehabilitation program. Three more came along after that. There is Jonathan, 19, who is married and now lives in Florida; Brian, 17, Raymond 12, Tiara, 11, Tia, 8, Ben, 7, Terrell, 6, Jacob, 5, Tyler, 3 and Lonell, 2.
You actually see a twinkle in her eyes when she looks at them, her love is so strong, said Maureen Remy. Remy as an administrator of Rockville Centre's Adopt-a-Family program met Elethia when the program began providing Christmas gifts to the children.
Three months ago Elethia lost her beloved husband Rubin. He was a minister in the Apostolic Faith. He was so good to [the kids] and there's not a day that goes by that they don't ask me about him, said Elethia.
She credits the children with helping her get through this tough time. Everyday I look at them and I feel fortunate because they keep me going especially since my husband passed away. They took my mind off of the grief and despair that I went through, said Elethia, who moved to Rockville Centre two years ago.
Debra Roe, also of Adopt-a-Family, remembers Rubin sitting on the coach with all the kids piled around him. He was a huge factor in their lives, said Elethia.
After Rubin died, the children still wanted to hear about their Papa. Is Papa watching over me today? they wanted to know, and Elethia would tell them that he was watching from heaven.
Elethia recounted many stories. Several involve Terrell, one of the kids who has special schooling because of problems from his mother's drug addictions. Elethia said he is hyperactive.
One day Terrell came home from school, sat down at the kitchen table and said, Mama, can I go to heaven tomorrow or today? Elethia explained to him that he was not ready for heaven yet and that he would have to wait to grow up.
Once, Elethia was discussing her husband's headstone, without thinking that the children were listening, when Terrell piped up again, What are you going to put on Papa's headstone, that he's in heaven? Did he take the plane or did he go on the bus?
I tell you, I was laughing so hard, said Elethia, smiling as she tells the story.
Because you know Papa didn't like to walk a lot, and I know he didn't have his car because his car was broken so he had to have taken the bus or the plane, said Terrell.
Well, he didn't take either one, but I'm pretty sure angels took him to heaven,' that's what I told him, said Elethia.
Granddaughter Tia remembered that Papa's birthday was coming up and wanted to put a card in the mailbox in the hopes that angels would get it and bring it to Rubin, who was 61 years old when he died.
These things make Elethia Gaddist laugh and cry, but mostly they keep her going. She has a busy life to tend to. Weekdays start at about 7:00 a.m. when she gets the kids up, dressed, and ready for school. Seven of them are out at the bus stop by 7:30 a.m.
Back in the house she cleans, starts dinner and takes care of the two littlest kids and her disabled daughter, Lori. By about 3:30 p.m. it's back out to the bus stop, then dinner, bath time and bedtime at 8:00 or 9:00 p.m.
She does all this, not to mention her regular bicycle rides to Hempstead to do laundry at a laundromat that has free dryers. I offered to drive her. She never calls for a ride, said Remy.
Despite this hectic schedule, Elethia found time to cook Easter dinner this year for 16 of her grandchildren and their parents. She frequently has other children and grandchildren visiting her four bedroom apartment. She has 24 grandchildren and six kids of her own. Plus, when they married 19 years ago, Rubin was a widower with five sons of his own that Elethia helped raise, and through them she has another 10 grandchildren.
She has helped raise other grandchildren and even a cousin's children. At one time there were 12 kids in the house. I never ever remember a time when I haven't had kids in the house, she said, which is why her husband called them home salvagers.
Roe said the kids would probably be separated if Elethia hadn't taken them in. I didn't want them to have to be in a strange foster home, said Elethia.
Originally from Charleston, SC, Elethia has always been able to juggle a busy schedule. I had two children and I finished high school in 1967, she said, digging her yearbook photo out of her purse. It's very important for them to finish school because if I can finish with two kids they can too, she said. She proudly announced that her granddaughter, Tara, is currently attending Hofstra University.
While she would like them to go to college, she has other more urgent concerns for her grandchildren. She worries about Ben and Terrell who are hyperactive. She worries about her own health only because if she is sick she can not take care of her grandkids and her daughter. She worries about her daughter, the kids' mother. I'm hoping that everything works out well for them, that their mother gets back into society, can take care of them, make a home for them, and that I stay in their life at all times, Elethia said.
Some of the kids have reservations about going back to their mother. Brian, the eldest, has told Elethia that he would like to stay with her. I would like to keep Ben and Terrell, because those two are special needs, Elethia said. It only seems natural that she would like to keep the biggest burden.
I'm in awe of this woman. I have never met a woman who had such a gift for giving love, said Roe. The proof is in the kids, said Roe, calling them very nice, well-behaved children.
She points to 11-year-old Tiara, who Roe calls a second mom to the kids. She is very sweet with her younger siblings, very different than regular siblings, said Roe.
Elethia is a wonderful woman who we should all admire and strive to be like. [She] is such a special person and such a special mom, said Remy.
