By Mike Schnitzel
To her children she was the ideal mother - always ready with a smile and a fresh plate of food to fill their hungry stomachs. To friends and acquaintances, she was a lively, positive thinker who always had a smile and words of encouragement to comfort the downtrodden.
"She was the most positive person I ever met in my life," said Laraine Memola, who spent five years with Stanco at Orzac Extended Care Center at Franklin Hospital, where she works as assistant director of recreation. "She never complained about anything. She would always take your hand and kiss you and tell you that she loved you."
After a century bringing joy those around her, Stanco died on March 12 at Orzac in Valley Stream. She was 105, and is survived by three children, five grandchildren and 10 great-grandchildren.
Her family described her as a woman who was able to take pleasure in every day chores; who appreciated the simple things, such as a warm summer day or the scent of a rose.
Her daughter Helen Nasta said her mother was a "perfect homemaker" whose priority was taking care of her family - she cooked, baked and kept a meticulous home.
"She treasured her friends and family," Nasta said. "That's what her life was about."
Stanco became somewhat of a celebrity in Valley Stream when she turned 100. The Orzac Care Center began hosting birthday parties for her that were attended by local officials who came to pay tribute to a kind and gentle woman, and Willard Scott even wished her a happy birthday on NBC's Today Show.
"It was always a pleasure to see her," said Valley Stream Mayor Edward Cahill, who attended all of Stanco's birthday parties at Orzac. "She loved having her friends and family around. She will be missed."
Stanco's birthday parties were one of the highlights of the year at Orzac. "Her birthdays were like a celebration of life and spirit," Memola said. "She always looked gorgeous, and I would put one candle on her cake for each decade [of her life] and then another for a decade to grow on."
The parties brought smiles to everyone's faces because of all the surrounding activity and the fact that Stanco was so well liked, Memola added.
Stanco's granddaughter, Barbara DeGrace, reminisced about coming to her nana's house as a child, and the feeling of warmth and family that enveloped her whenever she stepped over the threshold of the brick house in Middle Village.
"She loved to host people in her home," DeGrace said. "Friends, family, extended family, friends of friends - always. All the holidays, the big events...were in her house."
The home was always an olfactory delight, with the scent of home cooked meals wafting through the air. Stanco's specialty - Italian cheesecake.
"It was extremely light," DeGrace said. "Never heavy, made with ricotta cheese."
Stanco transferred that atmosphere of love and family to Orzac when she moved there six years ago.
"It was a blessing to me for having her touch my life in the way that she did," Memola said. "I know Helen is with me. I love her so much."
Stanco's journey began in Elmhurst, Queens on July 17, 1901. She married Umberto Stanco some time in the early 1920s, but the family doesn't know where to find records confirming their wedding date. Spending most of her life in Middle Village, Stanco was a devout Catholic who attended Ascension Roman Catholic Church in Rego Park.
Her faith helped her to keep a positive attitude, said family members, who recalled her strength of spirit and unwavering support in times of need.
Perhaps her life was best summed up by granddaughter Susan Daddona in her eulogy at Stanco's March 15 funeral.
"Helen Stanco was a proper lady, filled with kindness and strength and grace. She leaves the world a better place for having been in it, and she will be missed."
Comments about this story? Mschnitzel@liherald.com or (516) 569-4000 ext. 265.
