What's the best way to deal with this? Please help!A. I'd start with therapy. Not enough people admit that they need special counseling for a problem like this. If you can't deal with therapy or an ugly ceiling, avoid the room or don't fall asleep on the couch while lying on your back, since waking up will only make you relive the thing you want to escape.I recently drove around in Los Angeles and noted that every home, for miles, was covered in stucco. Not just stucco, but swirly versions in every imaginable texture. And it didn't matter what the style of the building was. Cape cod, postmodern, New England salt box, colonials. So somebody loves stucco. You may want to avoid California as well. Foam beams need to be taken seriously, as they are probably the only structure holding up your ceiling. Gently rip them down, crumbling them into garbage bags. Make a party of it by inviting friends over to celebrate your liberation from the '70s. Dress in bellbottoms and put on disco music -- but wear goggles to avoid getting dust in your eyes. Next, yank down the gypsum board with the claw of a hammer or a rented wrecking bar. You need to remove everything, even the nails or screws left behind. Protect your belongings and finishes by removing everything you can from the room, and covering floors with Masonite boards and tarps. This avoids denting wood flooring or cracking tile when tools are dropped or the ceiling comes down in large pieces.When the ceiling is down, evaluate the "guts" of your structure, the electrical wiring, and even the insulation. Does the ceiling structure look cracked, damaged (nicked or cut through) or warped? Often ceiling structure is inadequate, and needs repair to avoid ceiling cracks, dips and bulges that cosmetic repair cannot fix. Wires should be stapled properly to structure, not hanging or loose. You may even want to stop long enough to plan a better lighting scheme and hire an electrician to install lights and switches for a more updated look. Few people realize that lighting really makes a space dramatically different, not just new finishes and furniture.Even if the ceiling is below an upper floor, consider insulation to control sound and heat loss to other heating zones in the home. Just remember to leave some air space above the insulation to allow the home to breathe. For real sound separation, buy a rubber membrane material such as "ice and water shield" or one of the acoustical brands, and staple or adhere it to the bottom of the floor joists before reattaching the ceiling boards.Ceiling boards need to go up in as large a board as you can. For this, hire a professional or rent a lift device. The longer the boards, the fewer the seams, and the better the ceiling will look. Tape, spackle and carefully "polish" the ceiling to a very smooth texture. Use a floor lamp, held at different angles to see the imperfect areas, then spackle and sand them smooth. Finish with a flat paint that will hide small imperfections, clean up, refurnish and enjoy your updated living room, face up, on the sofa.Readers are encouraged to send questions to: HERALD Homes, 379 Central Avenue, P.O. Box 220, Lawrence, N.Y. 11559-0220Attn: Monte Leeper, architect.
