By:Angela Marshall
Devin Varsalona must find a new dream. Hers, like so many others, was crushed on Sept. 11.
The Herald sat down with five students from the South Side High School Class of 2002 to talk about how the events of the last month and a half have changed their lives and their way of thinking.
"My whole life goal was that I wanted to live in New York City when I grow up and I wanted to work in the World Trade Center," Devin said.
When she went into the city before, Devin would instinctively look at the towers and think about what it would be like to work as an international businessperson there. But when she heads to the city now, Devin said, "There are some big buildings off in the distance and this big hole."
For Devin and the other students life is now thought of as before and after Sept. 11. Before, they didn't wonder if they would ever see their parents again when they walked out of the house in the morning. Before, they never really questioned their safety. Before, they weren't afraid in broad daylight.
"This is the major defining event of our lives," said Elizabeth Brady. "Nothing this big ever happened before."
The students talked about Pearl Harbor and how there was no comparison to the recent attack. "Pearl Harbor was different because it was a military installation," said Chris Leach. "They actually have the possibility that they might be killed in battle. These were innocent civilians in a civilian complex. Mainland America."
And for five teenagers who have never lived through a war, America's vulnerability was a sobering realization. "I think this opened up our eyes," said Elissa Masin. "We never realized that something of this nature could happen to us."
Now, they say they understand what the Israeli people are faced with every day.
"They don't know if they're going to see their mother, their father, their son or their daughter at the end of the day. You don't know if you're going to go to school the next day and the school is going to not be there," said Jackie Pribil.
She knows how easily it could have been her father who didn't come home last month. Jackie's father used to work in the World Trade Center. He retired two years ago. "It's really made me count my blessings," she said.
Dan Liburd said this has pushed him to make sure his family knows he loves them.
For some, caution has become a part of their lives.
Jackie goes to New York City once a week for classes. The commute is the same, but her feelings are completely different. "On the trains and stuff, I find myself being very cautious - looking around, suspecting everybody of doing something bad."
Devin said before the attacks she barely ever checked for suspicious-looking people on the subway. "If it's one o'clock in the afternoon and I board a subway, I'm not thinking anything's going to go wrong. If it's one a.m., then I'm a little more nervous. But now it's that nervousness intensified all day long."
For some students, it is not a problem. Chris said, "I don't feel that at all."
The students blame the media for keeping their cautions up. "This is the only thing that's on any news channel," Devin said. "It's almost too much information."
Jackie agreed, "It's good to know, but it's not good for your mind to be constantly hearing about anthrax being sent through letters."
Chris said he feels the media is needlessly creating a panic with their coverage. "You can't do anything about it really. So, why create a huge hysteria over it?"
When there is fear, it is often accompanied by other troubling thoughts. How do they keep prejudice from becoming part of their lives as well?
"I kind of feel bad thinking it, but you know you're going to check twice if you're on an airplane and you see a group of Middle Eastern people," Ellisa said. "We don't want that to happen but it's going to happen anyway."
One of the teens brought up a new TV commercial showing people of Eastern decent doing everyday things. "I do all the same things as you do but I'm of Arab decent," the fictional young female character says. It is a favorite with the girls in the group.
"It's kind of sad that they have to go through this even if they're innocent," Ellisa said.
While Chris does not feel fear in his everyday life, he readily admits to fearing the draft. He has to file for his selective service card in less than two months. "I'm ridiculously afraid because if I go to war, I'll be killed."
Brady recently had a conversation with her dad about the feelings young men of his generation went through during the Vietnam conflict. "A group of our generation is going to be missing if there is a war," she said.
But most of the students don't believe it will actually come to a draft. "Who's backing us? All these major, major nuclear powers," Devin said.
The students aren't all gloom and doom. The attack has changed their lives in other, better ways as well.
Jackie, as president of the Student Government Association, helped collect thousands of dollars for victims' families.
And on Sept. 14, Devin organized a candlelight vigil at the high school. More than 1,000 students, parents and faculty members walked through the streets surrounding the school. "I felt good almost because something finally good was coming from this."
"As bad as it sounds," Ellisa said, "I think [the attacks] brought us together on so many levels...It's horrible to think that something of this nature had to be done to make people realize what life is worth."
