By Brian Kacharaba
Twenty-five years ago on Aug. 27, my wife, Nicki, and I stood under a gazebo on a already hot late morning at the Coral House in Baldwin to say our “I do’s.” Everything about that day exceeded my imagination — from the scenic lake in the background to the ceremony, the food and the reception. We made our grand entrance as husband and wife to a medieval-sounding trumpet serenade, followed by the ESPN “NHL Hockey Night” theme song. (Nicki graciously agreed, even though my first suggestion had been the “Monday Night Football” intro).
Every married couple has a unique back story, and ours is no different. I met Nicki in 1991, as I was finishing my junior year at Farmingdale High School. She was a freshman. Unbeknown to me, she had noticed me six months earlier at a mutual friend’s birthday party. After officially meeting, we started talking on the phone for hours — and I mean hours. (Remember, there was no texting back then.) Finally, after school ended on June 5, we shared our first kiss outside the band room — and then I asked her out.
We’ve always been total opposites. She was in band and chorus, and I was playing and watching sports every chance I got. She didn’t think I’d be remotely interested in her because of that. But she was so down-to-earth and easy to talk to, and I felt completely comfortable being myself around her. That supposed barrier? It never even existed for me.
Our first date was the movie “Soapdish” at the Sunrise Mall. We often ate at Annabella’s Italian restaurant in downtown Farmingdale (which has since closed, unfortunately), and spent countless summer nights walking around the neighborhood or sitting on a bench by the docks in back of Burns Park in Massapequa, talking about the future.
I knew for a long time that she was the one I wanted to marry. By the summer of 1999, I was ready to propose. People suggested that I do it at Yankee Stadium — but I wasn’t about to risk 57,000 fans chanting, “Just say no!” Fortunately I caught a break when Nicki mentioned that she wanted to go on a picnic at Marjorie Post Park in Massapequa. I knew that would be the perfect setting.
After lunch by the lake, we went for a walk, and I felt the moment approaching. I chose a tree near the water and, just to have a little fun, started a fake argument as we strolled back — complaining about the construction noise and the screaming kids at the pool.
Naturally, she got mad and read me the riot act for a few minutes before demanding that I do something romantic for once — just as we were returning to that tree. And voilà! I backed her into its trunk, got down on one knee and asked her to marry me. I don’t think she’s ever been that quiet, before or since!
We’ve lived in Bay Shore now for a little over 20 years, and are the parents of two wonderful children, Sia, 18, and Carter, 9, who we can proudly say are already kind and respectful kids. By the time this is published, we will have dropped Sia off at SUNY Fredonia for her freshman year, where she will be majoring in music education with saxophone performance (believe me, that moment could be next week’s op-ed), which just adds to the emotion of this month.
If I could go back and do it all over again with Nicki, I wouldn’t change a thing. She is the most beautiful, kind and selfless person I’ve ever known. She always lifts me up when I’m down, and is always looking for ways to make a positive difference in people’s lives — especially her chorus students at Wyandanch High School. The impact she’s had on them was crystal clear when they publicly honored her after their final concert this spring. I couldn’t have been prouder.
I’m so lucky and blessed that I get to spend the rest of my life with her. I hope that everyone who reads this has someone like that in their lives, because it’s the best feeling in the world.
So here’s to 25 years of an amazing story that I couldn’t have written better myself.
Brian Kacharaba is the editor of the Bellmore and Merrick Heralds.
