By: Linda Sapadin
Here's a typical day in Jeri's life: Jeri has a whole bunch of tasks she wants to accomplish today. It's her day off from work, so she should have plenty of time to do what needs to be done. She decides that she'll begin with the laundry. As she heads toward the hamper, she hears the mail arrive. She thinks, "I'll take a look at the mail first; see if there's anything interesting."Nothing seems intriguing. Most of it is junk mail which she tosses into the trash can. The trash can then topples over from the overflow of stuff. Jeri sighs. "Better get rid of this garbage before it gets any worse." She puts on a pair of sneakers and takes the trash out. Jeri then comes back into the house, trying to remember what it was that she was planning to do. Oh yes, the laundry. She gathers the dirty clothes from the hamper, tossing them into the laundry basket. On her way to the washing machine, she notices two plants in the den begging for water. "When was the last time I watered these plants?" Jeri admonishes herself. "I better take care of this right away before I get reported to the plant abuse hotline." Putting down the laundry basket, she waters the plants. Some water spills on the floor. Back to the kitchen to get paper towels to wipe up the spill. Done. It's been over an hour since Jeri decided to do the wash. Better get going. As soon as the clothes are in the washing machine, she thinks, "I may as well pay the bills next. I'm behind in that too." She goes to her desk to find her checkbook but it's not there. Where did I leave it, she wonders, as she starts searching for it. In the midst of her search, the phone rings. It's a friend, wanting to discuss a problem she's having. Twenty minutes later, Jeri hangs up and reminds herself she hasn't checked her E-mail in a few days. Turning on the computer, she gets distracted by a game of solitaire. One game turns into four games and now her husband is asking her if she's hungry. Yes, it's lunch time. What should we have for lunch? Hubby suggests a barbecue. Jeri agrees. They've got burgers and franks in the freezer but no buns. It'll just be a quick trip to the deli for buns and then an enjoyable lunch. The quick trip to the deli takes a lot longer since the store is out of buns so she heads off to the supermarket. She promises herself she will not buy more than 10 things, so she can check out on the express line. But the express line is crowded too. By the time she returns home, her husband is grumpy because she took so long. So is she. Her husband barbecues while Jeri gets a chance to make a quick call to her sister. After lunch, Jeri remembers that the clean clothes have to be moved to the dryer. As she heads to the laundry room, she discovers her reading glasses that she's been searching for since yesterday. She decides she better put them back on her desk. Alas, there's a copy of Newsweek on her desk with an article that she's been meaning to read. Almost an hour later, those clothes finally get into the dryer. At the end of the day, she still hasn't found her checkbook, the clean clothes have not been removed from the dryer (bummer, now they'll have to be ironed) and her E-mails still have not been checked. In addition, there are about 42 other things Jeri was hoping to accomplish that day. She tries to figure out where the day went, but she's baffled. She was busy all day long, she's tired from the stuff she's done, yet she didn't really accomplish much. She berates herself for getting sidetracked and diverted from all the things she wanted to do. That evening an insight emerges. She's always got too much to do with never enough time to do it. She promises herself that the next day, she will not overload herself with 42 things that she wants to accomplish. She will set just a few goals, complete them early in the day, then have the rest of the day to do as she pleases. Her hope is at the end of such a day, she will feel relaxed, satisfied and energized.
Linda Sapadin, Ph.D. is a psychologist in private practice who works with individuals, families and couples. Copyright © 2003
