By Cindy J. Roth
Steve Spiro struggled to find the perfect words to describe his long-time friend Barry Wilansky, 54, of North Bellmore, executive director of Tempo Group, a drug-rehabilitation center with offices in North Merrick and Woodmere.
"It's hard to describe him," Spiro said. "Barry is one of a kind. He has very old-fashion values that he lives by, and I respect him for that. This day and age, people don't act like that. He holds very strong to his values and doesn't bend. He practices what he preaches."
Arlene Basner of Woodmere, who has known Wilansky for more than 20 years, said, "Still passionate about his life's work after 25 years, Barry's dedication to the mission of Tempo Group deserves to be recognized and applauded. His enterprise in the field of substance abuse has provided help and support to hundreds of families in need of counseling. Our community owes him a debt of gratitude and appreciation."
Kathy Adwar, 37, a member of the Bellmore-Merrick Hokey Pokey running group Wilansky started five years ago, said she teases Wilansky often that when she grows up, she wants to be just like him. Adwar describes Wilansky as a machine that never stops in all aspects of his life, from jogging to his work at Tempo Group.
Colleagues, exercise partners and friends all praise Wilansky with the highest esteem, describing him with almost prophet-like attributes. But this is probably the last way Wilansky wants to be acknowledged. He sees himself as a man simply trying to keep his life in balance mentally, physically and spiritually, while searching for a greater understanding of life.
Wilansky recently celebrated his 25-year anniversary with Tempo Group, a non-profit, community-counseling center for all family and life issues related to substance abuse. The center offers consultations and referral services for individual, group and family counseling on prevention, education, intervention and drug treatment. Wilansky helps to treat more than 225 families each month and has become a significant player in the social-service arena.
A philosophy of life develops
Wilansky's youth played a major role in developing his values, which filter into all aspects of his daily activities. He grew up in Brooklyn during the late 1940s and 1950s in a basement apartment with his parents, an older brother and younger sister. Wilansky reminisces how children were parented by the community, not just their direct families, something that he said is missing in today's society. Wilansky said every child had many uncles and aunts in the neighborhood, and appropriate behaviors were derived from them, rather than television.
"We considered Brooklyn the center of the universe," he said. "Having had that background creates a suffering for what children are forced to grow up in today."
At 17, Wilansky left home to attend City College in Harlem. In 1971, he earned a bachelor of arts with a major in psychology and a minor in education. While in college, Wilansky worked as a youth leader for the Hamilton Madison Project on the Lower East Side of New York City, part of President Lyndon B. Johnson's War on Poverty initiative.
After adoption of the Youthful Drug Abuse Act in 1969, which gave schools funding for drug-intervention programs, Wilansky was hired by School District 24 in Queens to work with children in schools. Wilansky said that, at the time, little was known about drugs, and being the most educated on the topic from his course work, he was soon upgraded to assistant director of the school district's drug-intervention program.
Wilansky finished his part-time graduate work in 1976, earning a master's degree in psychology from the New School for Social Research in New York City. Around this time, Wilansky saw an advertisement in The New York Times seeking a program director for a drug-rehabilitation program in Woodmere. Thus began his 25-year commitment to Tempo Group.
Defining rehabilitation
Wilansky became interested in substance-abuse issues after America's drug culture exploded during the 1960s. Psychologists started studying the phenomenon with growing interest. Deeply fascinated with science, Wilansky read more and more books and articles about drug addiction and its victims' struggles. Through his work with the War on Poverty initiative, Wilansky realized he wanted to help people.
While at School District 24, Wilansky had a vision to create a safe place for children in trouble, with a variety of counseling and educational components. Through his work at Tempo Group, Wilansky has realized most of his vision.
Over his 25 years, Wilansky has seen a profound shift in the attitudes and behaviors toward drugs. Substance abuse more accepted in peer and family groups. To hear a 15-year-old is smoking marijuana several years ago would be shocking, but now parents expect their children to experiment with drugs. Society has incorporated alcohol, nicotine and marijuana into daily culture, silencing its harmful effects, Wilansky said.
Because drug use is more often accepted in families, Tempo Group has shifted from personal medical attention for drug abuse to a family-counseling approach. When a young person suffers from drug abuse, the youth's family is intimately involved in his/her treatment at Tempo.
"Chemical-dependency disorders affect everyone in a system," Wilansky said. "We have to get everyone on board; otherwise, there is continued confusion and suffering."
Many drugs make a resurgence into culture and become the fad drug of choice. Ecstasy was big in the 1960s and is now reappearing on the drug scene. Cocaine was rampant in the 1930s and made its comeback in the 1970s and 1980s. Heroin, the drug du jour of the 1950s, reappeared in the 1990s along with acid, which ran its course in the 1960s.
"Whatever drug becomes acceptable becomes forbidden fruit," Wilansky said.
Tempo Group, with its two drug-treatment centers and school-intervention programs, runs with a $1.8-million annual budget. Agency funding comes from federal, state and local grants, along with third-party donations.
Wilansky said working at Tempo is not work in the traditional sense; it is more of a mission. Challenges of the work lie in finding ways to help young people overcome their addictions by awakening their stronger sides. For Wilansky, work is also a personal challenge.
"You learn that changing takes time both with people and the community," Wilansky said. "[We] deal with people on the edge of death and have to pull them back. If we don't pull them up, they die."
Tempo Group Program Director Audrey Freshman, who works out of the Woodmere office, has known Wilansky for 13 years. She describes him as a source of inspiration and motivation.
"Barry is at his most brilliant when he is interacting with patients," Freshman said. "He is totally connected to what he is doing. He is truly an inspiring man of vision and a real original thinker and leader in the field of substance abuse."
Saving lives is the greatest satisfaction Wilansky derives from Tempo Group.
"The very notion that I'm spreading something of great value is rewarding," he said. "When old patients visit who have become professionals or great parents, it's rewarding. Meaningful labor is not work, but progress. It's creating a balance between work and play."
A balanced life
Wilansky's array of activities outside the office is wider than most folks'. Nurturing his physical side is important to Wilansky. He quit smoking in the early 1980s and started running marathons in 1983. To date, Wilansky has participated in 13 marathons, including the New York City and Long Island Marathons. Wilansky also has his own running group that meets in front of his house three days a week at 4:30 a.m. for a 10-mile trek. The four-person Hokey Pokey running group, named by Wilansky because "they turn people around," resulted from mingling at Gold's Gym in Bellmore.
In recent years, Hokey Pokey running group members have become good friends. Boris Kierer, 47, a group member from Bellmore, said Wilansky has influenced him tremendously and has provided him with much life guidance. Runner Steve Makowsky, 47, of Merrick describes Wilansky as compassionate. Adwar said Wilansky is regimented and serves as the road boss, deciding the path the group runs each day.
Three other mornings of the week, Wilansky takes care of his physical self by swimming in the Hofstra University early-sunrise swim club. Wilansky not only swims at Hofstra, but he is an adjunct instructor in counseling research, special education and rehabilitation there.
To satisfy his spiritual self, Wilansky observes Jewish Sabbath and said he is trying to make life sacred. Wilansky is a member of the Merrick Jewish Center and volunteers as the vice president of the conservative congregation.
"You get the impression he knows exactly what you're thinking before you even say it," said Alan Sussman, Merrick Jewish Center president, who has known Wilansky for about 20 years. "Barry is just so insightful in analyzing situations; he is a necessity on the board."
Wilansky also loves to read and spend time with his family, which he describes as a source of tremendous reward. Wilansky is married to Judith, and has three children, Leah, 24, Emily, 21 and Matt, 20.
Celebrating his 25-year anniversary with Tempo Group is only one of Wilansky's many successes in life. Wilansky continues to be an asset not only to the hundreds of patients he treats every year, but to Bellmore-Merrick as well.
