I don't know. But gripe about a frustration, grumble about an anguish beyond your allotted time and notice what happens. Compassion, understanding and kindness transforms into impatience, even annoyance, expressed as, "Get over it already!"Truth be told, I've always believed that two of the best lessons I've learned in life is to be patient and to know when to let go. Yet, as the new year breathes its first breath, I find myself still upset about what others likely view as yesterday's news.My beef? The illegal NYC transit strike. What makes it contemptible from my viewpoint? Aside from the obvious, it was the public statement of the leader of the transit strike who wanted to "thank riders for their patience and forbearance," after the strike was over.Roger Toussaint, masquerading as a nice guy, wants to thank the people he harmed. What chutzpah! What a fortunate man you are, Toussaint, to be unburdened by conscience and caring. Free to ignore inconvenient facts. Free to change the subject. Free to twist the facts. Free to act as though you had no other options. Free to pretend you did nothing wrong.From my perspective, you do not have the right to thank your riders for anything. What you should be doing is apologizing to them. Begging their pardon, for what you did to them. Lest you forget, you are the one who brought New York City to its knees. Forcing commuters to walk for miles in the bitter cold. Creating 5 hour traffic jams. Costing lost wages for the workers who could least afford it. Forcing a city to adapt to outrageous hardships is associated with acts of terrorism, (9/11), natural disasters (Katrina), unplanned misfortunes (blackout). We don't do this to each other and then act as though we had no choice. If patience as Longfellow says is "life long martyrdom," why should we be patient when someone in power doesn't give a damn about the law or the harmful effects that their actions impose on others? We, as individuals, must make a decision as to when it is virtuous to tame our passions and be patient, and when, as George Granville puts it, "patience is the virtue of an ass, who treads beneath his burden and complains not."I don't know anyone who was affected by the transit strike who asked to be a martyr. Indeed, people acted more like heroes. Doing what needed to be done, despite their own individual hardships. But now it is time to speak up.Whether it is the next company who puts you on hold forever or the next union leader who acts irresponsibly then "thanks you for your patience," don't let them get away with it. Let your voice be heard! Tell them what the transit strike did to you. Make them listen. Put the pressure on them to be responsible for their actions. Write to those in power. Speak up. Demand an apology, not a pat on the head. "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." Martin Luther King, Jr.Copyright 2006.Linda Sapadin, Ph.D., is a psychologist in private practice who specializes in helping individuals, families and couples overcome self-defeating patterns of behavior. She can be reached by e-mail at DrSapadin@aol.com.To read additional columns, visit www.PsychWisdom.com.
