By Jeff Lipton
The tragic death of 15-year-old Hewlett High School sophomore Adam Barsel has plunged the school community into deep grief and sorrow.
How his friends and schoolmates respond can make all the difference to their physical and mental well-being, a psychology expert said. Herb Ruben, executive director of the Peninsula Counseling Center in Woodmere, suggested that Adam's friends may decide to create a memorial to him on school grounds, where they may plant a tree or create a garden in memory of the teenager.
"It is comforting for some kids who feel a sense of loss, to do something constructive, whatever shape that takes," Mr. Ruben said.
In a letter to parents, Joyce Bisso, Hewlett High School principal, said students have been writing letters of condolence to the Barsel family and will be part of the process in determining a fitting memorial for Adam at the high school. This week has been designated "Random Acts of Kindness Week" and is being dedicated to Adam's memory, the principal said.
"The Hewlett High School family, as well as the community at large, has responded to the crisis with an outpouring of love, caring and concern for all families involved," Ms. Bisso said.
Adam, a Woodmere resident, and five friends were on their way to a reunion of campers at a house in Great Neck on Saturday night, Oct. 28, when, police said, the 2000 Dodge minivan they were riding in on Cross island Parkway in Bayside, Queens, veered out of control, struck a guardrail and flipped over several times. The accident happened at the eastbound exit ramp to Northern Boulevard.
Adam was killed, another Hewlett High School student was hospitalized and the other occupants suffered various injuries, none life-threatening. The driver of the minivan, whose name police would not reveal, has not been charged with any offense. Police did confirm this week that the owner of the vehicle is 5-T's Taxi and Airport Service in Hewlett, and a preliminary report indicates it was traveling at a high rate of speed. The investigation was continuing, police said.
On Monday, Oct. 30, the first day that students returned to school after the accident, Hewlett High School set in motion its crisis-intervention team - psychologists, social workers, counselors and the Long Island Jewish Hospital mental-health staff of the Alternative Learning Program - who tried to provide comfort to students who needed it.
"Some kids will react with agitation and depression or become very moody," Mr. Ruben said. "They may feel their world is out of control for the moment. Kids will be drawn together in small groups of their peers to discuss what happened. That can be very useful.
"Some kids will want to talk about it. There is no one fit here," Mr. Ruben added.
He said Adam's death may provoke feelings of hurt from past losses that children suffered in their own families. "Kids will have different reactions," he said.
For some students, it will be difficult to let go of their feelings of grief. "Other kids will want to return to some sense of normalcy," he said.
Groups such as PCC and the Tempo Group, also in Woodmere, offer their services in times of tragedy and were called in to provide "supplementary backup consultative work," said Mr. Ruben, who, along with Dr. Lois Goldsmith, an associate director at PCC, assisted administrators, teachers and staff in the bereavement process.
"If a crisis arises, we let other people know that we are here," Mr. Ruben said. "Our staff will try to help any way we can."
PCC has a professional staff of 72. When Kelly Tinyes, a 14-year-old Woodmere Middle School student, was murdered in 1989, a dozen PCC staff members joined school officials in trying to help students deal with the horror. That complement from PCC was one of the largest used on any case.
Mr. Ruben said the high school's crisis team provides first-rate services, but if the school called upon PCC to provide more help, it would be able to allocate those services.
"Members of the PCC organization and Herb Ruben came in and advised us on the aspects of bereavement," said Principal Bisso. A drop-in center was established at the school to provide a supportive environment, and support staff visited individual classes as appropriate
"This is one of the times that an entire community suffered a loss," Ms. Bisso said. "This is a very sad place."
