By Nick Buglione
Sitting alone for the meal that for decades was always shared with an intimate loved one can be a heart-wrenching experience, she said.
"You don't realize it until all the sadness has left you and you start eating alone at night," said the East Meadow senior, who has lived in the neighborhood for nine years and asked that she only be identified by her first name. "You sit down at the dining room table and you look down at that meal."
That's why Joan decided to start up a unique program that's picking up steam in East Meadow.
Once a week, usually on the weekend, she and a group of other single seniors go out to eat together, have a few laughs, and enjoy each others' company.
"It's a friends group, it's not a bereavement group," she said. "Everybody that comes calls me and says how grateful they are that they have [people to eat dinner with]."
Joan came up with the idea several months ago, after talking with her Aunt, who had recently lost her husband. "I asked her how she's making out," she said, adding that she was taken aback after learning her aunt's community had plenty of activities for single seniors.
Eager to start something up in East Meadow and recognizing that eating dinner alone is one of the most harrowing things a divorced or widowed senior can go through, Joan decided to start up a dinner group.
"We found that many separated, divorced and widowed seniors really do not have any means or way to go out to dinner," said Ingrid Miller, co-coordinator of the St. Raphael's Roman Catholic Church social ministry. "I think this helps out the people in the community, especially the ones who are alone."
Joan approached Miller about publicizing her new group in the church's weekly bulletin. Thanks to the free advertising, the group, which began its weekly dinner dates in October 2004, has enjoyed some success.
"In the beginning, I had a couple of people who were apprehensive," Joan said, noting that it can be intimidating to eat dinner with strangers.
Now on a given weekend, anywhere from 12 to 15 people turn out and Joan hopes even more will start coming down. "I don't want to just restrict myself to Catholics," she said. "It's really open to anybody."
She went on to note that any single senior, whether separated, divorced or widowed, is welcome to attend. "I just don't want to limit it to the people who have lost a man or woman," Joan said.
Every week, Joan picks a different restaurant and works in trips to the more affordable diners, realizing that seniors are on a fixed income.
The group plans to start hitting eateries just outside of East Meadow, in Levittown, Westbury, Bellmore and Merrick, so residents of those areas are more than welcome to join, she said. Weekly attendance isn't mandatory, so seniors can pick and choose when they want to come.
Jean Annas, coordinator of the East Meadow Senior Center for the past 20 years, applauded Joan's efforts. Annas said that outside of her center, local seniors don't have many places to socialize. "Here, they get to know each other and they really get tight," Annas said.
Those interested in joining the senior dinner group should call Joan during the week at (516) 794-1877 between 6:30 p.m. and 8:30 p.m.
Comments about this story? NBuglione@liherald.com or (516) 569-4000 ext. 236.
