Don't have the confidence. Don't have the know-how. Don't have the energy. Don't have the time. Don't have the looks. Don't have the brains. Don't have the motivation. Don't have the will power.Ten big don'ts. But there are more. If I left out your dearest don't, add it on to this list now.Q. What do these don'ts stop you from doing?A. "I don't know," shrugged Jeff."I really have no idea what I want. There's nothing I feel interested in," whined Winona. (Notice: men terse, women wordy...same message.)If you don't know what you want, how are you ever going to get it? Don't tell me you still believe in Santa Claus fulfilling your every wish. And by the way, how would he know what you want if you don't even know?Marilyn Monroe once said, "I wasn't the prettiest. I wasn't the most talented. I simply wanted it more than anyone else." Obviously, there was a lot about Monroe's life that didn't work and she's not a good role model in many areas. But, as I said in last week's column, "If your mind is open to hearing what is being offered (and I hope it is), then anything or anyone in life can be your guide."So, if your mind is blank, or you're feeling sluggish about what you might want to do in 2006, here is some advice for you:Do what interests you, even when there's more pain than gain. (When I first started skiing, I thought it was an amazing activity, despite my inability to keep myself from falling on almost every turn. Black and blue bruises be damned, this was too much fun to give up!)Learn to tolerate feelings of inadequacy. There are days when you will feel incredibly dumb or klutsy. These are "bad days," not a life position - unless you choose to make it so.Quit comparing yourself to the best. Sometimes people think they can't even try something (like painting or public speaking) because they compare themselves to the best. No, you're not the best. You're not even average. You're just a beginner. Let yourself be one. Don't belittle what you're doing. Don't call yourself nasty names. And don't give credence to your family's wisecracks.Thinking, reading, talking or wishing you could do something may be a way to begin. But if you want to pursue an activity, you must take the plunge and do it. Writers must write, not dream about being a writer.If you are still thinking that there is nothing that will get your juices flowing in the New Year, go back to your list of don'ts. Treat these don'ts as naughty children who are behaving badly. Give them time-outs. Since they are stuck in their room, you are free! Go and do something crazy, something that your kids would say is "weird" but you know is something you've always wanted to do. No excuses. Do it now!And, oh yes, have a Happy New Year.
