At the Central High School District board meeting last Wednesday, I hoped, and even expected, to hear person after person send best wishes to the victims of the sex-abuse attacks allegedly carried out by three Mepham football players.
As it turned out, I heard relatively few people speak up for the victims in an audience of more than 700. One was a friend of a victim's parents, who read a moving statement from the boy's family. Another was a recent district resident. There were a handful of others who mentioned the victims as part of broader speeches. And, in fairness, the superintendent made strong comments supporting the victims.
By contrast, a number of people spoke about Mepham's academic achievements, its community-service record, its many National Merit commended students and semifinalists. Roone Arledge, the legendary TV sports-news executive, graduated from Mepham, one man said.
The speakers were met with thunderous applause, even standing ovations. The audience was a sea of maroon-and-gray sweatshirts, T-shirts and headbands. Many people wore "Mepham Pride Is Alive" buttons. Some held big pro-Mepham signs.
Frankly, the board meeting seemed more like a Mepham pep rally than community forum. Mepham supporters were out in force, and they were working overtime to defend the school's image, which many said the media had destroyed. They had every right to stick up for their school, but as far as I'm concerned, they don't really need to, and certainly not with such a public display. Mepham will remain a great learning institution, with its reputation for academic excellence intact. The teachers are the same teachers. The students, minus a handful, are the same students.
No one in their right mind would think any less of the 1,200 good kids who attend Mepham because three of their classmates may be criminals. Aside from the intense, unwanted media attention, the tragedy hasn't touched the vast majority of students directly. They're still smart. They're still dedicated to their families and friends. They'll still go on to outstanding colleges.
Yes, Mepham High School and the overwhelming majority of its students will survive this ordeal.
Many people also defended Mepham principal John Didden, speaking of him as a great leader, a committed educator with decades of experience and an exemplary citizen. In short, a role model for us all.
Mr. Didden, however, doesn't need to be defended. I predict he won't lose his job, despite a few parents who have called on him to resign or be forced to resign because he reportedly knew, before camp, that one of the alleged assailants had threatened another player.
During the meeting, the school board pledged its full support for Mr. Didden. So did the Nassau County Principals Association, via a letter read by Kennedy High School principal Lorraine Poppe. And in a letter to all Central district residents last Thursday, Superintendent Dr. Thomas Caramore called on the community to support Mr. Didden.
Yes, principal John Didden will survive.
There were also those, primarily former Mepham football players, who came to speak on football coach Kevin McElroy's behalf. Some players' parents, including those of at least one victim, have called on coach McElroy to step down because, they charge, he failed to protect the three junior-varsity squad members from the attacks. The school board didn't throw its unequivocal support behind him last week. The way I see it, he might lose his coaching job, perhaps even his teaching position.
But "coach Mac" will survive.
What about the three ninth-graders who were sexually assaulted by three bigger boys with a broomstick, pine cones and golf balls? Will they survive? They have no longstanding careers, no loyal legions to stand up for them.
If the allegations are true, they were forced to the ground and essentially raped. They screamed. As many as 15 other teammates may have watched and did nothing, according to one victim's attorney. How does anyone overcome such a horrifying, life-altering event?
The victims probably played Little League baseball or football or soccer, rode bikes through our quiet streets. Maybe they were in the Boy Scouts, maybe the Mepham band. They probably dreamed of achieving football glory someday, of winning a county championship, maybe going pro after brilliant college careers, as at least one Mepham graduate has already done. More likely, they were boys who just wanted to be liked, who just wanted to belong to something bigger than themselves, and they believed the football team was that something.
The victims' attorneys say the boys feel guilt because the football season was canceled. Imagine that, the victims feeling guilt. I don't believe they should feel that way. But what have we done to make them feel otherwise?
What have we, as a community, done to make them believe we care? That we support them? By the looks of last Wednesday's board meeting, our primary concern appears to be saving our reputation, which, to my mind, doesn't really need saving.
To preserve its image -- and a true sense of pride -- the Mepham community should reach out to the victims in meaningful ways. In this respect, candlelight vigils are better than pep rallies.
