By Doug Miller
That would be the former Rosemary McLoone of Flatbush, who at the time had recently graduated from Catherine McCauley High School and was working as a legal secretary at Morgan, Finnegan, Durham and Pine. Dowling, the young attorney, must have made quite an impression, because she married him in 1958. In 1960, they moved to Point Lookout, where, for 45 years, Rosemary Dowling took on nearly every civic, volunteer and service commitment she could find.
Her husband called her R.M., and she called him T.P., her brother Jack said, after their shorthand names on the interoffice memos she typed up during their early courtship.
But to others she was the Queen Bee, a name that may have come from her fellow volunteers at the Long Beach Medical Center, or the Long Beach Catholic Regional School, or the Point Lookout Civic Association, or the Point Lookout Historical Society, or the Long-Termers Committee of the Bedford Hills Correctional Facility, or the Barrier Beach Executive Committee, or the Holy Redeemer Church soup kitchen, or any other organization or civic group Dowling was involved with from the day she moved here until her death Nov. 26 from pancreatic cancer, at age 68.
Jack McLoone, who followed his sister to Point Lookout in the 1960s, said the nickname was certainly well-earned within the family. "So much of it is private and personal," McLoone said. "But she was just a wonderful sister over the years."
Dowling was a past recipient of the League of Women Voters' Unsung Heroes Award, and was honored with New York state's People Who Help People award in 1994.
"We'll never know the full extent of her gifts to others," said Tom. "Since her illness, a number of neighbors have approached us with stories of R.M.'s help, known until then only to Rosemary and her beneficiaries."
Audrey Brown worked with Dowling in the Point Lookout Historical Society, which she said Dowling founded. "I'll miss her terribly," said Brown, 91, a Point Lookout resident since 1929. "I worked with her on the historical committee. Not that I did a lot -she did most of the work. She put together some very good exhibits. Just a wonderful person, and very interested in the community."
At the Point Lookout art show last summer, Brown recalled, she pulled together an exhibit of photos of people to whom her friend will inevitably be compared. "People who helped the community, who contributed to the growth of the town," Brown explained.
Dowling's husband said she died five minutes after midnight, two days after Thanksgiving, with all her children at the house: Rosemary, Thomas and Jimmy, who were all born within three years of one another (and whom Tom called the Irish triplets) plus Maureen and Christina and 11 grandchildren.
The family recited this prayer before Dowling died:
"Dear Lord:
We thank you on this day of Thanksgiving in 2005 for the gifts you have granted us.
We especially thank you for our R.M., who for almost 50 years has filled Dad's life with faithful love and unsparing care.
We thank you, too, for Rosemary, our sister and sister-in-law, who has enriched our lives with love, compassion and understanding, often giving us hope and healing when we despaired.
But most of all, we thank you for our mom, who gave us the precious gift of life, nurtured each of us through life's challenges, helped lead us to loving spouses or care-giving careers, shared with us the joys and pains of our own parenthood and showered our children with her unique brand of tender Nanny love.
Finally, dear heavenly Father, thank you for our Nanny, who wiped our tears, shared our laughter and encouraged our hopes and visions. We love you, Nanny."
Comments about this story? DMiller@liherald.com or (516) 569-4000 ext. 213.
