By Anthony Rifilato
Soon, the home with all the mementos will be bare. The photos will be taken down and the living room frozen in time will be empty. After 23 years -- 217 funerals, 213 weddings, 107 baptisms -- Boughton is retiring and moving to Clearwater, Florida with his wife, Linda.
"I want to retire, it's time," said Boughton, 63.
As pastor at Calvary Protestant Church for eight years, and later as pastor of the Grace Christian Fellowship, it's clear that Boughton has touched many people's lives in Baldwin.
"The reaction from people who know we're leaving has been overwhelming," said Boughton.
Although grateful for the accolades he's received over the years,
Boughton, 63, hasn't let them go to his head.
"It's been good," Boughton said. "I feel extremely blessed and fulfilled over these years."
Thomas Ryley, president of the Baldwin Interfaith Conference, said, "Fred Boughton has been an important figure in the community. He's certainly someone we are going to miss."
Though he's been involved with many organizations over the years --from the South Nassau Communities Hospital Mental Health Clinic community advisory board to the Baldwin Council Against Drug Abuse -- it's hard to categorize Fred Boughton. He at once seems like the everyman of Norman Rockwell paintings who digs into his pockets to buy a kid a chocolate ice cream but also a guy you'd like to drink beer and watch baseball with.
What he doesn't seem like is the stereotypical reverend, and he isn't, as he admits.
A calling
Boughton was raised in a middle class family in Jamaica, Queens, before the family moved to Bellmore after he finished high school. His father worked for Pfizer. "If he ever heard they now make Viagra, he'd laugh," Boughton said. His childhood wasn't deeply religious, though his mother attended church every Sunday.
In fact, in his late 20s, Boughton had all the trappings of a bachelor's life. He had finished a stint in the army, had a great managerial position at a sewing machine company, lived in a new apartment, bought a new car and was making great money.
But increasingly, he began to feel unfulfilled, and at the age of 30, he decided to join a seminary in Florida.
"My father said, 'You're crazy,'" said Boughton, who laughed as he reminisced. "When you analyze your life, you start asking, 'Is this total fulfillment?'"
In Florida, Boughton met his wife and had a baby girl, Elizabeth.
"As a child we had a close relationship," said Elizabeth, now 26 and a Baldwin resident. "He's not like other ministers to me. He's very
open minded. No matter what, I could always talk to my father."
Eventually, after 10 years, Boughton returned to Long Island, and became pastor at Calvary Protestant Church in 1979. There were many bright moments, but as he would discover, it wasn't always easy. In 1983, Boughton was faced with the solemn task of helping two of his parishioners, a young couple, make a difficult decision: whether they should pull the plug on their dying two-year-old baby.
"It was a decision I couldn't make," said Boughton. "They
had to be at peace with themselves. They decided to pull the plug, and
eventually moved away."
There were other tragedies, and Boughton experienced the pain of many families.
"When people look at you and expect answers, and there is none, that's what rips you apart," said Boughton.
The flock calls to a free agent
A pastor is the central figure in a Protestant church. It was a role that Boughton had struggled with, though he said he remained dedicated to his community and had tremendous support. But in 1987 he departed, and moved back to Florida because his retired parents were ill.
There were other reasons for his departure, reasons he is reluctant to discuss. He has regrets. Boughton said that at one time, he felt he was losing himself at Calvary Protestant, and the pressure of living up to people's expectations became an albatross around his neck.
"At one point, I felt like I was being what people wanted me to be," Boughton said. "It was like putting on a mask and performing. But I have more peace right now in my heart than ever, because I am my own person."
After two years in Florida, Boughton returned, and was ready to settle back home.
If people in the community are overwhelmed by Boughton's recently announced departure, it's because it wasn't easy to get him back the first time. Boughton leaves behind a legacy in Baldwin, one that does not have an heir.
When he returned to Baldwin, Boughton was reluctant to serve as pastor again in a church capacity. "I'll work with different ministries but I will never again work in a full pastor position because of the politics that come with it," Boughton said.
He became what he calls a "pastor-at-large." He performed ceremonies for the American Legion, continued giving invocations at Mets baseball team dinners, served on the Baldwin School District AIDS advisory committee, and became president of the Baldwin Clergy Fellowship among other activities.
"He's been a blessing to Baldwin," said Kim Wilson, pastor at Bethlehem Lutheran Church. "He addresses problems in such a caring way and brings people together."
Eventually, some past parishioners of his, feeling a bit disenchanted with Calvary Protestant, approached him and asked if he would form his own church.
He was ambivalent at first, but as the numbers grew to about 20 people, he was touched by the emotional outreach and decided it was the time to strike out. Ten years ago, he formed the Grace Christian Fellowship. The inside of his garage was converted into a glistening chapel, with red silk draping, an organ, 20 chairs and an altar.
"It has created fantastic relationships," Boughton said. "It's very
fulfilling."
Now that Boughton is leaving, there is no one to step into his shoes at Grace Christian Fellowship. The altar will be donated to a Hispanic Protestant congregation in town.
"This is what hurts the most," said Boughton, who stood
in the chapel recently and reflected on his time in Baldwin. "I told [my parishioners] not to hesitate to call me if they really need me.
"After all, it's only a two hour plane ride."
