By KAREN RICE
The event was held at the Bay Boulevard home of Patricia Nyman, who has already adopted her daughter, Emily, 3, a year ago from China through Children's Hope International, the organization which ran the event. Children's Hope International, a highly respected and experienced international adoption agency, works closely with families in all states through 11 regional offices. It places about 600 children annually from Colombia, Russia, China, Vietnam, India, Guatemala, into adoptive families, according to the organization's Web site.
The five potential families come from eastern Long Island to upstate New York, and three of the five families decided to adopt the orphan who stayed with them. Nyman offered her home for the barbecue because she has had a positive experience with the program and is close to JFK Airport, from where the children would be departing immediately afterward.
The children, one girl, Katya, 7, and four boys, Sergey, 7 1/2, Ilya, 7, Yuri, 7, and Zhenya, 6, do not speak much English and, so far, have grown up in Russian orphanages.
Wendy Stanley, northeast regional director for CHI, said that it takes a special kind of family to adopt a child in these kinds of circumstances.
It's tough, these kids have dreams and self-esteem issues, Stanley said. They come over speaking only Russian and there is a language barrier. You have to be willing to have amazing results or have your heart broken. The families who adopt must be very open-mindedthey must have an open heart. We need families that celebrate diversity and who make a life-long commitment to being a role model.
Stanley added that the families must be willing to adopt a child who is older and who has already begun to develop their own personality. Many families prefer to adopt infants so they can raise them from the start.
Some found the program the perfect opportunity to expand their family. Kate Goddard, 10, of Stony Point has always wanted a little brother or sister and even made her parents sign a construction-paper contract saying they would provide her with a sibling. Yuri, the little boy they decided to adopt, fit right in, according to Cathy, Kate's mother.
Kate has been a major driving force in this adoption, Cathy said. She's been asking for a sibling for a long time. I feel like he's been in the family all along. It's kind of like he got delivered in the wrong spot, she added, laughing.
The biggest problem is the communication gap, Cathy said. I like to explain things to Kate, you know, about why she can't do things. I can't do that with Yuri yet.
The Forbergs, another family at the barbecue, also opted for Children's Hope International to expand their family. Zhenya will be the second son for Nancy and Rob Forberg of Brentwood, and the new older brother of their 2-year-old son, Ryan. Nancy and Rob decided Zhenya was the right child for them when he started calling them mommy and daddy, Nancy said.
They fit well together, Nancy said looking over at her husband playing ball with Ryan and Zhenya. We wanted more than one child and I happened to see an add in the paper. We went to a meeting [for Children's Hope International] and it all seemed to work out from the beginning.
Bron and Denise Burda of Hopewell Junction in upstate, who had young Ilya for two and a half weeks, decided against adopting because they felt Ilya caused too much tension with their 5-year-old biological son.
They are a little too close in age, Bron said. There is a lot of contention. Ilya is a high-energy child. I recommend this to parents with no children or parents with older children.
Bron added that he will continue to help Ilya find a better family that is more suited to his needs.
This type of situation is looked at in a positive light, according to Stanley. Despite self-esteem issues, they say it is less traumatic for a child to find out before-hand if they are not compatible with a family than to find out afterward and become disrupted, which is when a child must be removed from a family after adoption. Stanley said Children's Hope International has a low disruption rate and Russia is the only country that has this test-run program.
All five children will now go back to Russia until more paperwork is filled out. Their adoptive families will follow shortly afterwards to help finish the paperwork and learn more about their new child's surroundings. The children will be united with their new families in four to five months, Stanley said.
Nyman said that her adoption experience was very warm and enjoyable and recommends it to anyone looking to expand their family in a special way.
Adopting Emily was the best thing I ever did, Nyman said. The program was wonderful it was very rewarding. Emily's an amazing little girl. A gift from God.
For more information on Children's Hope International, visit their web site at www.childrenshopeint.org.
