From violence, forgiveness

McDonald family recalls shooting, speaks of peace

      At a backyard Mass marking the 15th anniversary of a shooting that paralyzed police officer Steven McDonald of Malverne, the message was one of faith and forgiveness.
      "This can be a sad, sad day or it could be a joyous one," said Mychal F. Judge, the New York Fire Department chaplain who officiated the service.
      The dozens of friends and family members who gathered at the McDonald home last Thursday spent the day celebrating the family's strength, love and ability to overcome.
      On July 12, 1986, McDonald was a rookie police officer married less than a year to his wife, Patti Ann, an assistant editor at Parents magazine. Patti Ann, two months pregnant, and Steven planned to move to Manhattan from Malverne.
      While on patrol in Central Park as a member of the New York City crime prevention unit, McDonald and his sergeant spotted three teens suspected of stealing bikes. The officers split up and McDonald again found the teens.
      As he patted one down, another teen, Shavod Jones, pulled out a gun and shot the officer three times. One of the bullets lodged in McDonald's spine.
      When he arrived at the hospital, doctors doubted he would survive and McDonald was given his last rites. But the officer began to recover and, though paralyzed, spent the next two years in rehabilitation.
      Meanwhile, his wife gave birth to their son, Conor, who will soon celebrate his 15th birthday. Patti Ann moved with Conor to Manhattan, a block away from the hospital where her husband was being treated.
      McDonald forgave Jones, who later called and apologized while serving an 8-year sentence. Jones was killed in a motorcycle crash only three days after his release in September, 1995.
      "When he died it was a great shock to my family," McDonald said. "The next day, Conor went into school and without Patti Ann or I asking him, he asked that they would pray for Shavod Jones."
      The McDonalds later returned to Malverne and purchased a home on Michelle Court.
      "When we came home, the community just opened up its arms," said Patti Ann, 39, now a village trustee. She described Malverne as a unique community where everyone looks out for one another.
      "I think back to what happened that day, but then I also think about where we were back then and where we are today, and how far we've come," she said.
      Steven, 44, agreed that the anniversary arouses mixed emotions.      
      "Patti Ann is reminded that we haven't been able to hold each other, in our arms, as husbands and wives do. There are many things that Conor and I have not been able to do," said McDonald, now a detective at the Central Park Precinct. "But we're still here in this house, loving each other, so we're surviving. But this day is a reminder of how fragile life is and unpredictable it can be."
      Not only does McDonald speak the words of forgiveness during lectures at regional high schools and in travels across the world, but he wears them as well. A black cord that always hangs around his neck bears the symbols of several religions.
      McDonald has spent the last several years working towards interfaith reconciliation. He and 35 members of Bruderhof, a self-supported Christian community, made a pilgrimage to Northern Ireland in June, 1999. The group marched from Dundalk to Belfast along Garvaghy Road, the war-torn Protestant/Catholic border.
      They gathered for a service at Drumcree Church, where war veterans from both sides spoke of forgiveness, despite hundreds of protesters who rallied outside, according to McDonald. The group has returned to Belfast three times.
      McDonald met the Bruderhof group through a collaboration with author Johann Christoph Arnold, who, after learning about McDonald's own story of forgiveness, contacted the family in 1997.
      Arnold wrote about their experience in his book, "Why Forgive," published by Plough Publishing, one of several Bruderhof operations.
      "They know first hand what it means to forgive," McDonald said of the religious group who fled Germany, England, and South America before coming to the U.S. Today, the Bruderhof travel worldwide to spread its message of reconciliation.
      Following the Mass at the McDonald home last Thursday, nine Bruderhof youths, clad in blue and white, lent their voices, guitar and percussion.
      "Stop the killing, silence the guns," they sang.
      The group is planning a mission to war-torn Israel, where they will visit both Jews and Palestinians.
      "We will go sometime between October and March, for ten days to two weeks," said Gary Stanaway, Bruderhof minister. "We plan to meet with people in refugee camps and the kibbutz living communities."
      Stops include Jerusalem and the West Bank cities of Gaza, Ramallah and Tulkarem.
      "We hope to meet with Arafat and Sharon, but we will speak to anyone who will listen and hear our story," McDonald said. "I think that because of the way that I am, and how I've lived the last 15 years, the message comes alive, in a much stronger way."