By: Linda Sapadin
If so, how about giving some thought to other unique gifts for the holidays. Here are a few suggestions: Give The Gift of History: As the older generation passes on, many of today's families have nobody who continues the tradition as the family historian. How about becoming that person? Organize your photos with running commentary. Create a family tree. Pass on some family gossip. Write down events that happened that make for great family stories (grandma did what?). This gift is both a gift of history and a gift of memory.Give The Gift of Acceptance: Sure it's hard to accept those annoying habits that other people have. But that's why it's such a great gift! How about doing your best to create an atmosphere of acceptance and respect instead of an atmosphere of criticism and fighting. I wouldn't be surprised if communicating what you like, appreciate and enjoy about someone you love becomes the best gift he or she will ever receive. Give The Gift of Patience: You know how busy you usually are -too busy to have patience with yourself or with someone you love. How about taking the time to slow down enough to listen, to be curious, to ask (and actually listen to the answer) about what's going on in your loved one's life. How about continuing a conversation beyond the quick answer, delving deeper into what that special someone feels, thinks, dreams, envisions. Give The Gift of Failure: If you are a person who is at least moderately successful in life, who usually knows what's best, who often gives good advice, how about giving the gift of failure. Perhaps it's time to get real (especially with your kids). Talk about those disasters in life when you messed up, failed, or behaved so badly that all you wanted to do was crawl under a rock. When giving this gift, make sure you don't turn it into a morality tale, (i.e. don't do what I did; learn from my mistakes). The gift of failure only works if your failures make you more genuine, three-dimensional and human. The Gift of Togetherness: Much of what passes for fun these days is organized activities, entertainment and sports. How about spending time together with your loved ones, without a whole lot of structure or "have to's." What would you do with your family if you had nothing planned to do? See what comes to mind. Don't force it. Perhaps you could have a group sing, tell stories, make up a game, bake cookies, paint, joke around, play music, dance up a storm, or teach an unusual skill you think the other person(s) might like to learn. Being a realist, I don't actually expect these ideas to replace store bought gifts. Yet, I do hope that you will take these notions to heart so that they become an important add-on to your holiday celebrations. Gifts that come wrapped in pretty paper generally have a more limited life than these suggested ones which can easily last a lifetime. Happy Holidays!
Linda Sapadin, Ph.D. is a psychologist in private practice who works with individuals, families and couples. Copyright © 2003
