Last week I described the major forms of fear and anxiety. This week, I'd like to offer some suggestions to help you alleviate your anxiety--no matter what form it takes.1. Anxiety, inaction and self-doubt often go together. You may find yourself more and more anxious as you get stuck in the "paralysis of analysis." Sure, thinking about what to do, analyzing the alternatives, doing nothing are okay--for a while. However, once you have recognized that your inaction is a delaying tactic, it's time to take an action. Get off your butt and do something different instead of just continuing to feed the fear.2. There's a thin line between being nervous and being excited about doing a task or confronting a challenge. Anxious people exaggerate the nervous side. To counteract this tendency, lean the other way. Shift mental gears and focus on what's exciting, stimulating or inspiring about your challenge. As you do this, you will develop a more optimistic approach to life, one in which you give less attention to your worries, more attention to your goals.3. Guard against mentally catastrophizing events, making tough moments bigger, more threatening, or more awful than they really are. People with high anxiety often respond to a problem with this "awfulizing" approach. They not only worry about all the bad things that can happen, but also develop an "Oh my God!" reaction to events, which intensifies their fear. Learn to regard unexpected events and setbacks as part of life's events. Very few of them will ever be catastrophic.4. "What if?" questions that are asked rhetorically increase one's anxiety. What if I get fired from my job? What if my son gets hurt? What if my ex-husband stops paying child support? If these are really questions that are on your mind, you need to address them. Letting the questions just hang in the air increases your anxiety and leaves you without a plan for how to deal with the problem. 5. Some of life's problems or tasks may be so big that they need to be broken down into a series of smaller, less threatening problems. How can I stop drinking might be better dealt with as, how can I get myself motivated to go to an AA meeting? How can I cope with a life-threatening disease might be better dealt with as, how can I find the best doctor for this illness or how can I obtain information to help me understand my options? As you accomplish each individual task, you'll become more empowered and educated to face whatever challenges the future brings. 6. Emotions are contagious. Increase the time you spend with optimistic, encouraging, hopeful people. Let their confidence and strength rub off on you. Spend very limited time with discouraging, pessimistic, doom and gloom folks. They are likely to stir up more anxiety, get you more depressed and invite you to a "pity party" that will make you feel that your situation is worse than it really is. To learn more about "How to Stop Worrying and Overcome Your Fears," join me at my Sunday afternoon seminar at Hofstra University on October 29. For more information about registering for this program, call 463-5993.Linda Sapadin, Ph.D. is a psychologist in private practice who specializes in individual and family therapy as well as personal coaching. Copyright 2000
