by Cris Italia
It's 2 a.m. on a Sunday, and a 55-year-old from Tennessee believes he has been conversing with a 13-year-old from Long Island through Instant Messaging, an America Online feature that allows you to speak electronically with anyone in the world.
The man is an administrator at a high school who coaches both a girls' and boys' basketball team. More than two hours after the conversation began, at 11:47 p.m., the administrator clearly has no reservations about talking to someone so young. He offers the girl several scenarios in which they can meet, and raises the possibility of flying her down to Tennessee.
What he doesn't know is that sitting at the other end of this conversation is Paul Hamilton, a 39-year-old investigator with the Child Abuse Unit of the Long Island Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children. "This guy will be one of our primary targets," Hamilton says confidently.
Only half an hour into their chat, Hamilton had predicted that the man would profess his love for the fictitious 13-year-old. Sure enough, the administrator eventually types, "I think I would have a crush on you." Hamilton isn't surprised. "This is the kind of guy that comes off nice, but once he steps over that line, he will be very dangerous," he says.
Aside from his 50-plus hours a week working at the CAU offices in Oceanside, Hamilton puts in a full night's work on his computer at home on weekends. With a computer gadget called a thumb drive, he is able to save all information and transcripts. The thumb drive serves as a portable hard drive that enables investigators to work from home without compromising the evidence.
Hamilton doesn't do this for the money, but for the goal. CAU has suffered financially, operating mostly on fumes, but investigators like Hamilton believe what they are doing makes a difference. "If we can just save one child or catch one pedophile, we will be making a difference," he said, sitting in his small studio apartment in Long Beach.
With extensive experience with computers, Hamilton could be sitting pretty working just about anywhere else. Originally from Valdosta, Ga., he says he was making a decent living in Knoxville, Tenn., where he worked for an Internet content provider. His cost of living would be a lot lower anywhere else. "I'm not complaining, because I believe in this, and I believe in my chief," he said.
Chief Jeff Mackston recruited Hamilton after watching a segment on pedophiles on ABC's "20/20." Hamilton and some of his associates would disguise themselves as children on the Internet and harass pedophiles by posting their photos. Mackston called the producers of "20/20" and obtained Hamilton's phone number. At the time, in 1997, Mackston's unit had focused mostly on local pedophiles.
"The unit had worked on some Internet pedophile cases, but they flew us to New York so we could show them a presentation," Hamilton recalled. He demonstrated while undercover how a child was approached on the Internet. Through a chat room, a pedophile would contact the child first. As Hamilton showed Mackson's unit how he worked, a pedophile contacted him.
"The unit saw how well it worked and they were just jazzed about it," Hamilton said. "We started a case on that pedophile and within a week he was arrested." The suspect turned out to be a wealthy vice president of an HMO in New York City with a wife and a family. "This was a white-collar guy, and it just makes you think, With everything he has, why does he do this?" Hamilton questioned.
Mackston wanted Hamilton as part of his team. It was Hamilton who helped change the focus of the unit. Soon they were investigating a broader spectrum of cases. In an abrupt move, Hamilton packed his bags for New York, and he hasn't regretted it. "It was a big adjustment," he says looking around at his meager living conditions. "But we do damn good work. I just keep saying our time will come."
Still in heavy conversation with the school administrator in Tennessee, Hamilton has had to balance him with several other pedophiles who were hunting the same prey. His 13-year-old's disguise is a hot commodity. He makes her seem innocent enough for the pedophiles to think they can convince her to do whatever they want.
By now the administrator has offered a plane ticket to Tennessee and a stay at a hotel. "I would love to be together alone somewhere," he says. "I've always wondered about being with someone your age." In addition to his offer of gifts and fantasy, the administrator has sent a photo of himself, a portrait.
Other predators have sent more sexually explicit photos. Hamilton explains that one pedophile went as far as sending a photo of himself with a young teenage girl who is performing oral sex. "I've seen some disturbing images," Hamilton says. He describes one photo in which an older man was ejaculating on a 2-year-old toddler. And there was one pedophile who sent him a video of a young girl being raped. "I can just remember the anguish on her face -- you could tell this was done by force. Not only did this guy rape her, but he glorified it," he said.
Through another instant message, a 44-year-old from Long Island wants to know where Hamilton's 13-year-old girl hangs out. Hamilton responds with some usual locations: area malls, arcades, etc. Through all this, the conversation with the administrator continues. He admits to having crushes on some of his players. He tells Hamilton he is married, but not happily. He says that, physically, his marriage is failing. He asks if she ever wears a two-peace bathing suit at the beach, Hamilton replies yes. "Oh, wow -- what a nice image," he says.
For a suspected pedophile, the administrator has been extremely careful. He has made sure there is interest, but Hamilton does not suggest anything unless he mentions it first. "We present no entrapment," Hamilton said. "We let them suggest everything first."
Hamilton never proposes talking on the phone or setting up a meeting, nor does he talk sexually. "Once the pedophile does it, then we can re-enforce what they say," he said. "None of our cases have ever gone to court, because we're so careful. They always plead out."
While the administrator is careful with his language, others don't hold back. One man from Canada tries to lure Hamilton into cyber sex. He says, "I want to put my hand down your panties while kissing you."
"There are some pedophiles who start to pull back because they feel guilty," Hamilton said. "Others just have no moral dilemmas at all."
In a month he averages about 125 active cases. "Eventually doing this every day wears on you," the investigator said. "You lose faith in people sometimes, but we keep doing this for the good people. We'll never know the kids we save, and if I don't get to a pedophile, he'll get to someone else."
Hamilton regrettably admits that he and his colleagues in law enforcement are vastly outnumbered. There are far more pedophiles than undercover officers on the Internet. "[With] 8.5 million people in New York alone, it's safe to say there are thousands [of pedophiles] just here," he said. Hamilton alone has been involved in hundreds of investigations. "You do not know the feeling of elation we get when we bust someone," he said.
Although Hamilton can lose his focus, he has plenty of inspiration. "I had missed my niece's birthday recently and I called her and told her it was work that prevented me from calling," he said, explaining that his niece is 10. "I said I was just trying to help kids, make it a safer world for her. She said it was OK, and she knows it's 'one bad guy at a time.' That meant so much to me." Hamilton also takes part in the Big Brother program.
It's past 3 a.m., and Hamilton has begun winding down his handful of electronic conversations. At some point, pedophiles are going to question why a 13-year-old is awake at such an hour. He leaves his predators wanting more, and makes sure they will talk in the very near future.
"We made a lot of progress tonight," Hamilton said. "Opened up a couple of cases, and with the help of the Nassau County District Attorney's Office and the United States Customs we are going to make some definite arrests." Internet pedophiles can be charged with a number of offenses based solely on conversations on the Internet: attempting to lure a child and transmitting or distribution of child pornography, to name just a few.
"I know me -- I try to save the world every time I do this," Hamilton said. "Parents don't think about this. Sometimes this is not on their minds. We do this so they don't have to."
Losing his childhood
by Cris Italia
He was only 12 when it happened. In those days, the word pedophile didn't even seem to exist. For a long time he thought that what happened to him was his fault. In those days there didn't seem to be anything wrong with someone older hanging around. Up until age 12, Jason enjoyed his youth, comparing his days and friendships to the movie Stand By Me.
We used to do all kinds of things as kids, Jason reminisced. We'd go fishing by the creek or play kickball.
Now, 20 years later, Jason says that a 19-year-old hanging around a pack of kids wouldn't be acceptable. We didn't think anything of it, he said of his attacker. He was just someone older that hung out with us, helped us build a tree house.
At age 12 he never thought his world would be turned upside down. Jason was taken advantage of, raped by someone he thought was his friend. As he explains it, society never taught kids about this. You knew not to talk to strangers, you knew what to do if you saw a crime committed, but this was different, said Jason, who chose to maintain his anonymity. Even all these years later, there are some people he will just never tell.
Jason told no one about what happened. He felt a tremendous amount of guilt. I thought I had done something wrong, he said. I thought that I was bad and this was punishment for something I did. And the whole time, I just didn't understand why he did it. Besides feeling guilty, I didn't know how else to feel.
After he was sexually abused, he never saw his attacker again. From then on Jason suffered socially. He kept a close-knit group of friends, but was wary of anyone new. I lost my childhood, he said. A 12-year-old should never have to think about things like that. He should be thinking about being a kid, having fun, school, friends. I didn't have that option.
Even with a healthy family environment, Jason says he was afraid of telling his parents. He kept all of what happened inside, and eventually he was consumed, making it difficult to open up to anyone. As I grew, I wasn't social at all, he said, and sometimes I was forced into situations when I needed to be. When that happened I didn't do well.
He never knew there was help. As a teenager and into his 20s, Jason was a loner, like Clint Eastwood, as he would explain. He missed the innocence of his childhood and says what he put himself through was unjust.
I'll never know what I would have been, he said. I can only say that what happened to me caused all the things I went through growing up, all the guilt I carried with me, all the insecurities. I couldn't trust people.
Now Jason directs his energy and his experience in a different way. He helps kids. As a member of several child-assistance organizations, he finds strength and resolve in making a difference. I've been liberated of the guilt, he said. I'm an empowered individual, and I always think positively.
Jason says that when he meets others who have experienced what he has, the feelings are always the same. It's always the same thing, and you can put a kid through psycho therapy, but they are going to feel what they feel no matter what, he said. It's just what every kid is going to feel if this happens to them, but it's not their fault.
Jason prospered because of a supportive family and good friends. It was just a matter of people telling me that I was good, that I was a good person, he said. The whole time I just thought if bad things happened to me I deserved it, but that wasn't true.
It's so important for parents to have open communication.
Even though Jason has made tremendous strides, he says he still suffers in relationships. There are long periods of shyness, and he struggles to keep a relationship together. I look at what happened and I know at least I'm wiser for it, he said. With any traumatic incident you have to learn to accept it, and I have.
